Espada
by insertappropropriatenamehere
Summary: Sequel to 'Arrancar' Hitsugaya, Ichigo, and Orihime go to Hogwarts for certain reasons, some of which not even they know, and because of the Arrancar Wars. This is the story of what they do there. UP FOR ADOPTION
1. Chapter 1

2stupid: If you're reading this, congratulations.

Tensa-chan: But if you haven't read Arrancar, go read it.

2stupid: After all, this is the sequel, you know.

Tensa-chan: So just go and (bleep)ing read it!

2stupid: Language! Although I don't know why I even bother saying it anymore…

Tensa-chan: Then don't!

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Chapter 1

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"So… wizards exist?" Ichigo asked for the god-knows-how-many-eth time.

"Yes. And Soul Society wants us to go to ask them to see if they have any leads," Hitsugaya replied.

"So we're going to ask the wizards," Ichigo said, sounding as if he were in shock.

"He's already tried to get Inoue-san once," Hitsugaya said. "We managed to stop him. Inoue-san will be safer at that school of theirs."

"Fine," Ichigo grumbled. "It'd be better if she stayed here in Karakura, though."

"Kurosaki-san," Kuchiki Byakuya was firm. "Inoue-san and Hitsugaya-taichou will be safe at that school; the wizards aren't exactly defenseless, you know."

"Then I'm coming, too."

Which is how Hitsugaya found himself traveling with a substitute Shinigami (who would probably leave later) and a ryoka. On a train. To Hogwarts.

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"This year, I would like to welcome two new students, Ichigo Kurosaki and Orihime Inoue," Dumbledore said. "In addition, Shiro Jyunrinan (AN: Hitsugaya's alias) has decided to return to this school."

There was clapping as Dumbledore went on. "They are also former students of Mr. Jyunrinan's school and should be treated with respect. Mr. Kurosaki and Ms. Inoue have both been Sorted into Gryffindor."

There was more clapping. Hitsugaya did not join in, but instead stared steadily at the headmaster.

"What?" Harry asked. Even he had been made to forget the events of the past year. However, the Golden Trio still remembered Hitsugaya well.

"Nothing," Hitsugaya commented.

"It's not nothing," Harry continuted, undaunted by the captain's scowl and glare. "With you, it's never nothing."

"Thank you for the compliment," Hitsugaya scorned as he got up and left. Inoue followed him, worried about him, and Kurosaki followed Inoue, worried about her.

As soon as he had gotten them past the Fat Lady (who was currently muttering about falling petals), he turned to them, a serious expression on his face.

"Sit," he gestured. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" Ichigo asked. Hitsugaya winced.

"Well, you see…" and then the story of the past few months came out. When Hitsugaya stopped, the other two were staring at him in awe. "So I would like you two to never mention Soul Reapers," he finished.

"That's soo cool!" Orihime squealed in a Matsumoto fashion as Ichigo simply grunted.

"No questions? Good." Hitsugaya got up from his own armchair and headed towards the dorms. "I'm going to sleep."

As he headed off to bed, he could hear what appeared to be muttering from behind him. Oh, good. The substitute Shinigami and the Ryoka were talking about him. It wasn't his fault that the whole place made him so irritable! Neither of them were as attuned to the tiny shifts in reiatsu all around him, something that kept him on edge and waiting for attack.

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By the way, if you're curious, Arrancar took place just before the Soul Society arc. This takes place a few months later, around the time of the Arrancar arc. So this means it's the beginning of the sixth year. Hokey?

And doesn't the English way of saying everyone's names just sound weird? That and the honorifics. Bleagh.

And for all of you who still don't understand, Hitsugaya Toshiro is Shiro Jyunrinan.

Here is the first chapter. Now read and review or:

1. I will not update. I will go off and scrabble up more drabbles for my other fic.

2. I will run off and never update again.

3. I will not update for lack of input.

4. My story will go off in random directions for lack of input.

5. I will pretend I never posted this and that it never came up.

6. All of the above. (It's possible.)

And I know it's really short, but… my life got insane. And I really didn't want to put it in sixth year, but I can't have them repeat another year, can I? Umm... can't I?

Whatever.

Gomen nasai for the very long wait.

2stupid and Tensa-chan


	2. Chapter 2

2stupid: coughs politely Well, at least this chapter's longer… no one even reviewed the last one!

Tensa-chan: All going towards my existentialist theory "Nothing matters."

2stupid: Please, just shut up. I hope my readers didn't abandon me…

Tensa-chan: Fine.

2stupid: Oh, and we wrote Chapter 1 about a month before we found out Ulquiorra was number 4 (the editing took forever and then we couldn't update and then… blah, blah, blah)

Tensa-chan: so we're sorry for any mess we've made. And guess what? He's gonna be in this story, too!

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Chapter 2

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"We have classes?" Ichigo asked stupidly.

"Yes," Hitsugaya said. "This is a school."

"Where they learn to do magic."

"If you're talking about strange stuff with their reiatsu, then yes," Hitsugaya replied. "Now, I have nothing better to do than to annoy the shit out of myself and go to classes. Oh, and if you're late, you'll miss breakfast."

"I thought you didn't need to eat," Ichigo asked, attempting to do his tie.

"I don't, but you still have a body, so you do."

"Not fair," Ichigo grumbled under his breath, but he went down. Hitsugaya hesitated, looking at the place where Hyourinmaru was hidden, before he left as well.

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"Ohaaayyooooo!" a hyper (as usual) Orihime greeted.

"Ohayo, Inoue-san," Hitsugaya and Ichigo greeted back. "How are you?"

"I'm fine! I found this girl who's just like me! Her name is Parvati, and she has a friend named Lavender!"

"That's nice," Hitsugaya said, remembering the duo from last year… Kami-sama… "But we have classes now."

"Oh, right!" the ryoka said, grabbing her books, attempting to run off in the direction of the dungeons, and falling flat on her face.

"Be careful!" Ichigo scolded, dragging up the poor girl so she was upright again. "We'll see you at break, then."

"Bye, Shiro-chan!" Orihime called as Hitsugaya twitched. Only Hinamori could call him that!

With a small sigh at the thought of Hinamori, still in a coma, he grabbed his books and went off to class. He could think about that later.

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His first class was Transfigurations: he used a Hell Moth to record Professor McGonagall's lesson for later retrieval, instead opting to expand his reiatsu senses to search for any sign of anything wrong.

There was nothing. That was odd; even the dark reiatsu the forest exhuded seemed to be dampened, although that could have been a side effect of the destruction of the entrapped Hollow.

It was as if the darker beasts of the forest had gone elsewhere, and an odd, hostile reiatsu seemed to be tickling the edge of his senses, always out of grasp no matter how hard he tried to find it.

It was troublesome.

He was broken out of his thoughts by an irate Professor McGonagall asking him a question; from the tone of her voice, it wasn't the first time she had asked.

"You should concentrate on a picture of the turtle and on an image of the teapot turning into the turtle," he replied.

"Correct," she said, slightly mollified, as she went on to explain the basics of the transmutation.

And, for some reason, he couldn't muster enough willpower to even think of transforming the turtle. For some reason, it just seemed like too much useless work. Honestly, who on earth would want to turn a perfectly nice, working teapot into some reptile?

And who would need to? Unless, of course, they had an excess of teapots, a lack of turtles, and a need for turtle soup, but that could probably be done in a much less time- and energy-consuming method.

This stuff was totally useless! In fact, it was so useless that Hitsugaya popped in a Gikongai and went out for a stroll.

Transfiguration can go to Hell.

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"Hey, do you think Shiro's been acting weird lately?" Ichigo whispered to Inoue at dinner. Hitsugaya studiously ignored the pair, reading up on the possible (illegal) applications of certain commonplace spell. Some of them resembled kidou, actually.

"I don't know," Orihime whispered back. "I would be bored if I were him. Besides, don't you want to try out this new pie combination I made?" Said food resembled nothing more than a cowpat, although on closer inspection, one could find traces of whipped cream, peppermint humbugs, veal, kidney, pastry, and curry.

"No, thanks," Ichigo replied. Eeeew. Was that-? No, hopefully not…

"Are you sure?"

"I think he's quite sure, Orihime!" Fred and George popped up. "Hey, Shiro!"

"He's not here," the gigai automatically replied, stabbing his (its?) own pie listlessly. "Come back later."

"I'm sure," George said sarcastically. "So, what did you do during spring break?"

The gigai nearly replied with the same phrases, but changed its mind and did the only thing left it could do; run for its life.

Which made Hitsugaya fairly unhappy when he couldn't find his gigai when he came back.

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"Have you seen my gigai?" Hitsugaya kicked Ichigo awake. "I can't find it anywhere!"

"It's in a secret chamber under the school that's only accessible by the left-hand sink of the broken-down girl's bathroom on the first floor," Ichigo replied.

"Thanks, and it had better be the truth." Hitsugaya did not want to spend the rest of his night searching for an errant gigai.

"It is," Ichigo said, going back to sleep. "And it's two in the morning. Let me sleep."

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The next day, the mini-taichou was in an understandably foul mood, seeing as he had had trouble getting into the sink ("You're a ghost! Just phase through it!"-Myrtle "I can't! It's guarded against that stuff!"-Hitsugaya) and then trying to convince his gikongan that the Weasley twins weren't about to kill it.

Which is why the poor redheaded sods were now the victims of some fairly nasty pranks that Hitsugaya had dreamed up with all of his childlike instincts.

Off in the distance, as first period (DADA) ended, a pair of klaxons resounded.

Yep. He had made sure that the two couldn't play any more jokes any more. Any sign of klaxon meant that the two were planning something. And then everyone was on alert.

And Hitsugaya had warned the entire school what the klaxon meant.

Snape had even deigned not to take off his cursory five points for Hitsugaya's 'cheating at something-or-other'.

Of course, since Snape was filling in for DADA and Hitsugaya knew who all his other teachers were, he assumed that the new walrus-man was his Potions teacher.

He was a giant suck-up. A bit like Marechiyo and Jiroubou, for that matter.

"Hello!" Walrus-man said. "I am Professor Slughorn, your new Potions teacher." Professor Slughorn allowed his eyes to roam over the class, finally settling on a Slytherin kid-and Hitsugaya.

'Why do I get the sudden feeling that he is going to be a very unwelcome presence for a very long time?' Hitsugaya wondered sarcastically.

'Because he is?' Hyourinmaru asked, almost innocently. 'You saw him; he's a sycophant. It's what he does, and we had better not do anything possibly dangerous.'

'To whom?' Hitsugaya didn't expect an answer, but he was surprised when he got one.

'You're already in some trouble from the last mission,' the zanpakuto replied. 'I don't want us to get in trouble or something. It would be both pointless and troublesome.'

'That's more easily said than done.'

'Which is why you're going to be careful and not use my power if necessary. Oh, and the teacher's calling your name.'

"Kuso!"

"Well, I don't know what a 'kuso' is, but that is definitely not the name of this potion, young mister… Jyunrinan, was it?" The venial teacher asked. "Don't daydream in class anymore; five points from Gryffindor."

"Yes, sir," Hitsugaya replied, miffed. "I won't."

'Yeah, right,' Hyourinmaru whispered in the back of his mind before it made itself scarce.

"So, can anyone else tell me what this potion is?" the teacher pointed to an odd potion that looked like liquid gold.

"Probably something dangerous and useless," Hitsugaya muttered. "Just like everything else here."

"Shush," some random students whispered harshly. They were obviously taken by the new teacher.

"Alright, then, can no one guess?" Professor Slughorn asked loudly. "If you can, fifteen points to your house!"

There was silence, before Hyourinmaru whispered two words in his mind. 'Felix felicis.'

"Felix felicis?" he hazarded.

"Correct!" the walrus-man said jovially and with entirely too much cheer ('Just like Jidanbou!'-Hyourinmaru) "It's Felix Felicis, and fifteen points to Gryffindor! Another fifteen for the person who can tell me what it does." For a second, the man's eyes landed on Hitsugaya, contemplating something.

"It makes you lucky?" someone else hazarded a guess.

"CORRECT!" Hitsugaya winced at the volume as the walrus-man set them to creating some menial potion.

'You know, this would be easier if you just let a gikongan stay while you were off. Wizards can't see you if you're repressing your reiatsu.'

'I know. Just think about what happened last time a gi-wait. You said that I'd be invisible if I repress my reiatsu?' Two pints of powdered lionfish spine… stir twice counterclockwise… let sit for exactly six minutes.

'Not just invisible. It's like you won't even be there. Like how normal spirits are to humans.'

'And how do you know this?' Hitsugaya plopped in a chair, glancing at his watch.

'I was out experimenting while you were busy,' the zanpakuto admitted sheepishly. 'I don't think anyone saw me, though.'

'I hope not… tales of an ice dragon are the last thing we need.'

'Then let's be patient. Oh, and it's been seven minutes already.'

'What?!' Biting back a curse, Hitsugaya leapt up and began seeing if his potion could be salvaged in any way, shape, or form.

Nope. He threw it out and began again.

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"Hey, what do you think about the two transfer students?" Hermione whispered. They were outside, by the lake, huddled in a group and at least twenty feet away from their subjects of discussion, but these Japanese people had proven to have extremely keen hearing. "They seem… different."

"Hermione, everything seems 'different' to you nowadays," Ron complained. "Come on, there's nothing strange about them. Except they know that kid Shiro, of course."

"Come on, it's not as if anyone who knows Shiro is evil," Hermione said. "Just because we can't remember what happened last year doesn't mean that Shiro did something he had to cover up."

"Maybe we should just ask," Harry suggested. "Shiro's definitely tied in with the mess from last year, and now we know for certain that Voldemort's dead… Something just doesn't add up. And if Shiro somehow destroyed Voldemort's horcruxes, then he's got to be powerful. And don't forget the prophecy; it said that I was the only person who was capable of destroying him."

"Right," Hermione whispered. "The weapon Voldemort wanted. And why is Dumbledore still allowing Shiro to come? At the end of last year, he made an announcement that he was supposed to be back in Japan. Instead, we have these two new students."

"Are you talkin' about us?" Ichigo asked. "Because we can hear you, you know." He and Orihime were standing barely two feet away.

"N-no, we were talking about some of the first-years," Hermione lied. "Dennis and Colin Creevy, in fact."

"Oh," Ichigo's orange eyebrow lifted, then descended again. "Whatever." He walked off, but Orihime sat down as she began daydreaming, giggling for some reason.

"Hey, Orihime," Hermione called, beckoning her over. "Care to join us?" Orihime started as she abruptly pulled out of her fantasy.

"Okay!" The bubbly girl skipped over and plopped down on the grass in front of them, smoothing down her robes.

"How are you adapting to life here?" Hermione led. "It must be different from Japan."

"I know!" Orihime agreed. "Ichigo's here, but back home we didn't have magic and stuff like this! But Chizuru, Tatsuki, and everyone else are still back home, though. They probably miss us; I wonder who Chizuru's flirting with now!"

"So she was Ichigo's girlfriend?" Hermione asked in a forced-casual way.

"Oh, no! Tatsuki was the only one who could stop her from stalking me!" Orihime said cheerfully. "She was kinda scary, now that I think about it." She tapped her finger to her mouth in her thinking pose. "Eh, she's probably off scaring someone else now! Do you think Tatsuki will be scared if I send her a letter via owl?"

"Maybe," Hermione replied honestly. "Why don't we help you write the letter?"

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Ichigo hated schoolwork. He hated his DADA teacher, too, but that was something he was used to. Instead, he simply did his best in class and was unsurprised when Snape began simply ignoring his presence. Of course, the fact that Snape was too busy scoping out Hitsugaya was probably the reason; the poor professor seemed far too distracted at times.

And the only teacher he hated more than Snape was the stupid Potions instructor, Professor Slughorn, also commonly known as 'ubiquitous toady' or, quite simply, 'suck up'.

Which was why he was currently trying to ignore Slughorn's fawning over his partner while somehow managing to ignore him completely. Poor Harry looked really unhappy, and Ichigo decided to come to his defense.

"Hey, if you're done now, will you let my partner help me with this potion?" he asked acidly, although that could have just been his normal tone.

"Oh, no problem, no problem at all," Slughorn said, turning back to Harry and obviously preparing to ignore Ichigo's statement. He was foiled, however, when Ichigo physically dragged his lab partner away from the stupid teacher.

Somehow, a few minutes later, Slughorn was back. Ichigo finished the potion and put his name on it, carefully omitting Harry's. Damn that stupid Professor; let him try to figure out whose was whose!

Of course, this would probably have negative consequences, but Ichigo couldn't really find himself caring. He wasn't here to learn how to brew nasty drinks, after all.

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In Hueco Mundo, Aizen looked at the latest of his soldiers.

"Arrancar 73, Corre de Muerte," he said, his refined, cultured voice smooth. "Welcome to Hueco Mundo."

"So that's my 'successor' in the living plane?" Grimmjaw asked snidely. His new, snake-like companion didn't seem all that powerful, although that could change. "He got himself beaten up by that chibi captain in the real world. We even had to put him back together."

"Ssshut uppp," Corre hissed. This new Arrancar was very pretty-looking, with pale skin, red eyes, and black hair. "I caalll venngeannnce on the Sssshhhinnigammi."

"You shall have it," Aizen promised, an unnoticed gleam in his eyes. "In due time."

"I want Kurosaki," Grimmjaw said. There was a definite Hollow undertone in his voice. "He's mine!"

Aizen simply smiled, his eyes in shadow.

"Good. Then I want you to find them, and fast. Oh, and Ulquiorra, please go with them and fulfill your mission."

"Yes, Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra replied laconically, opening a doorway to the Real/Living World and stepping through. Grimmjaw and Corre followed.

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Okay, it's still a short chapter, but they'll get longer. I promise. At least this one's better than the last, right? (7.5 pages MS Word, 12 fong, Times New Roman, 1-inch margins, a month. Geez. I could have done better.)


	3. Chapter 3

2stupid: Here is the third chapter.

Tensa-chan: God, the plot for this story is so nebulous compared to the last.

2stupid: Yeah, yeah.

Tensa-chan: Oh, well. We'll figure something out eventually.

"_Japanese" _

"English"

'thought'

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Chapter 3

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"_Hey, Kurosaki_," Hitsugaya called. They were in the common rooms after dinner, and Hitsugaya had once again set up his 'personal bubble', in which the air was at least ten to twenty degrees colder than the rest of the tower. "_I need to talk to you_."

"_Yeah? Is it Soul Society?_" the Shinigami substitute wandered over.

"_Not quite. There's a group of criminals who're tracking you down. They call themselves the 'vaizard' and are fairly dangerous. Probably around Captain-level," _Hitsugaya replied.

"_How'd they end up as criminals? They weren't like Sandal-Hat, were they?_" Ichigo asked.

"_You mean Urahara Kisuke? No. They performed illegal spells to merge themselves with their Hollow sides. Like the Arrancar, but in reverse_."

For some reason, Kurosaki nearly blanched. Instead, his face took on its usual scowl, more so than ever. In the distance, Orihime's giggles reminded him rather painfully of his usually bubbly Hinamori.

"_So beware of any new transfer students, Kurosaki._"

"_Don't worry. I will._"

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The very next day, their fears were realized.

"Students, I would like to welcome yet another transfer student here, Shinji Hirako, also from Japan," Dumbledore said. "He has been sorted into Slytherin; please give him a round of applause."

Shinigami and Shinigami substitute alike stared at the pleasant-looking boy smiling vapidly into the distance.

"Are getting the same feeling I'm getting?" Hitsugaya murmured.

"What, that he's creepy?" Ichigo retorted.

"Well, no." Hitsugaya turned to his other partner. "Granger-san, could you tell me what Slytherin house symbolizes?"

"Well, cunning, for one," Hermione said, slightly uncomfortable.

"They're the house with all the traitors," Ron said rudely.

"Ron!" Hermione scolded.

"Well, it's the truth!"

"But it's still very rude of you!"

Ron made an exasperated noise, on that Hermione mirrored.

"I see," Hitsugaya said. He sent Ichigo a look that said, 'be careful', and Ichigo sent back a look that quite plainly and sarcastically said, 'you didn't have to tell me that, genius'.

"So, why'd you ask that? Do you know that new kid, Shinji?"

"No," Ichigo replied. He had a feeling the mini-taichou did, though, so he would ask later. In private, Orihime added her own denials on, planning the same thing.

"Oh," Hermione replied, and the conversation fizzled out to an ignominious end.

"I do," Hitsugaya replied. "He got kicked out of my… school… for doing some nasty experiments."

The Golden Trio noted the suspicious pauses before and after 'school' that Hitsugaya had made. (Poor Hitsu-chan, you're losing your touch.) They were fairly certain that the 'school' wasn't just a 'school'.

Whatever that meant. Harry and Ron had managed to throw themselves in a loop, and only Hermione was able to continue pondering the giant morass that was Shinigami affairs.

"Hey, Shiro," Orihime called. "Can I talk to you?"

"You already are," Hitsugaya replied absentmindedly, looking over his schedule although he had memorized it already.

"Privately," Orihime cleared, leaving the table. Hitsugaya followed, shoving his schedule into his bag.

Once they were in a dark niche off the Great Hall, Orihime began speaking. "Can I visit Soul Society?"

Hitsugaya was taken aback: This was the least of what he had been expecting.

"Ummm," he began, fumbling for words. "Well, I'm going to have to contact Soul Society, and then they'll be the one to decide… actually, now that the Central 46 are gone, it's probably going to be the Captains' decisions. But I'll send a Hell Moth and ask."

"Okay," Orihime seemed to be pretty cheered up. However, due to the incredibly fluctuating reiatsu surrounding and inundating the castle, no one noticed the two figures watching them, especially the two figures themselves.

"Oh, and Inoue-san, could you please keep an eye out for Harry, Ron, and Hermione? I don't want them getting wind of Shinigami affairs, the war, or anything, expecially Hermione. She's really smart."

"I know!" Orihime gushed. "She helped me with my homework! I mean, I didn't understand anything, but she just showed me how to do it like it was nothing!"

"What was it?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Oh, something on the effects of wolfshade cut in the light of the new moon as to in broad daylight or something," Orhime replied. "Why?"

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to know."

"Well, have a good day, then! Bye!" Orihime bounced off, leaving a brooding second year who quickly realized that he was going to be late if he didn't move it.

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"You'd be a fool to try and stop me," Lisa said dramatically. "For I am your-!"

For Malfoy had thrown a pillow at her in irritation. "We're trying to sleep; I don't care what your relationship with Shinji is!"

"I'm not! I'm reading this book!" Lisa chirped in shock.

"Lisa, your porn isn't supposed to be on school grounds, and neither of you. _Besides, the captain of the Tenth Division is here. What if he finds out?_"

"_He won't. I made sure to fully compress all of my reiatsu before coming here. Besides, I thought there was no Tenth Division captain. Didn't that other guy run off with Shihouin Yoruichi and Urahara Kisuke?" _Lisa asked, reasonably surprised.

"_They got a new one; some kid or other, supposed to be a genius, remember? Or did the last few years fall out of your memory?"_ Shinji retorted sarcastically.

"_No, my inner Hollow took over_," Lisa replied, with yet more sarcasm. "_Never mind the new captain, but how goes Kurosaki? Has he agreed to join us yet_?"

"Nah, but soon. It always happens," Shinji replied in English.

"What are you guys saying? And what will happen?" Malfoy asked, undisguised worry in his voice. He remembered the Death Eaters' odd symptoms over the summers; chest pains, nightmares, the Dark Mark changing, the constant feel of a Dementor nearby though there was none. It was as if they were all turning into evil spirits while still in living bodies…

And none of them could get help because that would virtually be a death sentence nowadays. The Light side wasn't known for mercy.

With an annoyed sigh, Malfoy flopped down on his bed and pulled the curtains shut.

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"Are you sure?" Hitsugaya asked Ichigo.

"Yeah. Just… let me be, okay? I promise I won't do anything stupid," the Shinigami substitute said. At Hitsugaya's suspicious glance, he continued. "Look, I just need to learn how to control hi… _it_. I swear I won't join them!"

"Swear it on you zanpakuto," Hitsugaya commanded.

"What's the difference?" Ichigo grumbled back.

"There're supposed to be consequences, but since no one has broken an oath sworn on a zanpakuto (and only two have done so) in living (at least in Soul Society) memory, no one really knows what those consequences are," Hitsugaya answered a bit sheepishly.

"…that's lame," Ichigo grumbled back. "But I need control. And I want you to swear an oath on _your_ zanpakuto that Soul Society will not get wind of this. At all."

"Unless you've given me permission, or if it becomes public information," Hitsugaya bartered. "Or if you die. Soul Society might also need to know someday."

Ichigo gave him a dark look. "Whatever."

There followed some more banter I will not reiterate, but eventually they swore not to let the matter get out of hand… for either of them.

And just as they finished speaking, Orihime burst in.

"Isn't this supposed to be the _boys'_ dormitory?" Ichigo squawked.

"Yeah, but I just wanted to visit!" Orihime bubbled.

"Please visit someone else," Hitsugaya offered. "I heard there were some first years who wanted to meet you." He pointed down the hall to the first year Gryffindors' room.

"Okay!" Orihime left, but as if her arrival announced that the two most mysterious students at Hogwarts were in their dorms (which it probably had), a trickle of other people entered, including their yearmates and the female third of the Golden Trio.

"Hey, is it true that in Japan all the girls are hot?" Dean wanted to know.

"Hey, that's not possible! Otherwise we'd be there!" Seamus argued.

"Is it true that they teach you how to use a sword in Japan?" Ron asked.

"When do they start magical training there?" Hermione asked.

"Hey, Ichigo, is your hair really orange?"

"Shiro, are you really a genius?"

Those last two questions did it. Hitsugaya and Ichigo promptly proceeded to empty the room and begin ranting.

"What does she mean-"

"-am I a genius?!-"

"-my hair is natural!-"

"-if I weren't a genius, I wouldn't be-"

"-stupid bit-"

"-how dare that (bleep)ing (bleep) (bleep) say that?!-"

"-The next time I see that person-"

"-insulting my intelligence, indeed-"

"-and I'm gonna-"

"-you're gonna pay-"

"-and then-?!"

"HELLO, KUROSAKI-KUN!" Orihime screamed.

"EEEEEK!" Ichigo screamed, jumping at least two feet in the air (considering that he and Hitsugaya had been sitting on Ichigo's bed, no mean feat) and Hitsugaya let his jaw drop in shock, simply staring at the at least semi-insane girl with a look of unmitigated shock on his face. (AN: If anyone wants to know where I got this behavior from, look no further. This is how I act…)

"I heard people running away from your dorms and your evil planning and thought I might need to cheer you guys up!"

"Umm, we were fine," Ichigo said nervously.

"I know! I'll make breakfast for you guys tomorrow!" And with that, Orihime ran out.

Hitsugaya and Ichigo looked at each other for a split second in horror before remembering Inoue's cooking. Then they nearly shunpo-ed out in their rush to stop the girl from ruining the next day's meal.

"NO! WAIT!"

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The next day, the entire Hogwarts population was greeted by very unusual food. It looked like someone had added… innovations… to the regular dishes. And soon the perpetrator of this atrocity showed herself.

"HI! Because Ichigo-kun and Shiro-chan were fighting, I decided to make everyone breakfast to cheer them up!" Orihime said. "Let's see… I made scrambled eggs with wasabi, toast with butter and red bean paste…"

Everyone looked at each other in horror as the list of unedibles went on. At the Slytherin table, Malfoy could be heard whimpering, too traumatized to even complain about telling his father about the atrocious food…

And at first period, Harry looked at Ichigo.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"Orihime was cooking," the other answered back.

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At dinner that same day (everyone ate more than usual to compensate for their lost breakfast), Dumbledore announced something people thought he would never announce.

"We are restarting our Dueling Club," he said.

Under the deafening cheers, Hitsugaya leaned in to ask Harry, "What does the Dueling Club do?" He doubted his image of sparring Eleventh Division members was accurate in this situation.

"You learn how to fight with a wand," Harry answered back dryly.

"That sounds fun," Ichigo said.

"I'm sure it does. _Have you asked that Vaizard yet?_"

"_No. He's been missing lately_."

"_We_ _could use his help in this,"_ Hitsugaya murmured. "_They've probably had more dealings with these wizards that Soul Society has; the wizards' dead either stays behind as ghosts until they're reincarnated or are sent to Hell or become Hollows. Very few of them actually make it to Soul Society_."

"_Who was the last one_?" Ichigo asked.

"…_he became a shinigami; who he is isn't common knowledge, although he is a shinigami and has been so for at least two hundred years_."

"_That long ago_?"

"_I told you very few of them make it_," Hitsugaya said dryly.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked.

"Are you always this nosy?" Ichigo asked in a very Kenpachi-like way.

"Of course she is," Hitsugaya deadpanned. "How else does she learn half the things she knows?" (AN: Contrary to popular belief, Hitsugaya does have a sense of humor… it's just really small and really hidden.)

"I resent that," Hermione said, sounding a little hurt.

"I was serious," Hitsugaya said, looking over at the staff table. Dumbledore appeared to be engrossed in thought, answering Professor Snape's queries with absentminded nods.

"What do you think jii-san's talking about?" he heard Ichigo ask Orihime as he got up to use the restroom. Sadly, he passed through the doors of the Great Hall just then and missed Orihime's reply.

"Hey, Shiro," a confident-looking Malfoy said, approaching him. The wizard-in-training held an envelope loosely in his hand.

"What? I have a life, you know," Shiro snapped back. Geez, living here was enough to annoy the shit out of any Shinigami here! Reiatsu tended to flare up intermittently, startling the unaware and often the aware Shinigami into alertness and on guard against a Hollow. After a while, it wore down the nerves, patience, and willpower of the Shinigami, which was probably why the founders of this place had put it there in the first place.

Damn them.

"And unlike you, I actually have a purpose in mine," Malfoy replied snidely. "In any case, I was instructed to give this to you."

"By whom?" Who would want to send him a letter? Anyone he knew would have either gone to him directly or sent him a Hell Moth, and anyone he didn't know wouldn't know he was a Shinigami, either.

"I'm afraid you'll just have to see." Malfoy shoved the letter into Hitsugaya's hands and swaggered off. Hitsugaya flipped the letter over to read the address; there was none. Immediately sensing something was wrong, Hitsugaya summoned a Hell Moth and sent it to the Twelfth Division for analysis.

"What was that about?" Ichigo asked. "I thought those butterfly things could use telepathy or something, kinda like what that fukutaicho did in-"

"You didn't see anything," Hitsugaya replied reflexively. "Besides, they're called Hell Moths, not 'butterfly things'."

"Big difference." Ichigo shrugged. "I just wanna know why Orihime can't stay in Soul Society; she could help the Fourth Division."

"Right now, the Seireitei is in a state of war; it's probably less safe there than it is here, considering, especially with the Eleventh around. You know how they are. And if you could actually sense reiatsu, you would be able to understand that this place has random and unpredictable reiatsu fluctuations, making it impossible for anyone to fully mask their reiatsu."

"Whatever," Ichigo said. "Why don't you just look at those reiraku? And is that why you're pissed all the time?"

"That takes up too much time and concentration," Hitsugaya snapped back. "And yes, Kurosaki-san."

"Geez, it's just like you're PMSing… but you're a guy, so maybe you're going through puberty!" Orihime said suddenly; both parties jumped in shock. "Maybe you'll get taller!"

"Are you implying that I'm _short_?!"

"Are you angry, Shiro-kun?" At that, Hitsugaya just felt like banging his head against the nearest wall.

"Yes, so go away!"

"Alright." Orihime proceeded to drag Kurosaki off, and Hitsugaya himself quickly shunpo-ed away, ignoring their hushed conversation.

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A few days later, Ichigo and Shinji vanished; Hitsugaya had a feeling that the Hollow-Shinigami was off training with his Vaizard friends and reassured Orihime. Rumors abounded about the disappearances, ranging from Lord Voldemort to a secret elopement.

Needless to say, they were all very, very wrong. One night in late September, the Hell Moth he had sent to Soul Society came back, revealing that the letter had confirmed the survival of Lord Voldemort due to intensive rehabilitation and sheer, dumb luck. There was also a note of warning to finish the job completely next time.

This was getting troublesome.

The next day, when he slipped the letter to Orihime, he received a rather pale nod and a swiftly penned reply back; _What about Kurosaki-kun?_

To that, Hitsugaya had no answer; it was as if the substitute Shinigami had disappeared.

"La la la la." Five minutes later, Orihime was humming again. Hitsugaya only wished he could do the same, and instead concentrated on replying via Hell Moth.

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"_We have received Hitsugaya-taicho's reply_," Yamamoto said to the various assembled captains. Four were missing from their number, three permanently and one the object of this meeting.

"_What is it_?" Ukitake asked.

"_He requests permission to lift his limit if necessary, and he tells us that the criminal Vaizard have made contact with Kurosaki Ichigo. Ichigo has left with the Vaizard, but he will be back in time to fight the war_," Yamamoto stated. "_So, do we authorize his limit-lifting_?"

"_The limit was introduced for a reason_," Kuchiki-taicho stated. "_I believe that he should only lift his limit if his restricted bankai is ineffective._"

Matsumoto, standing in for her captain, zoned out as the arguments wore on, instead thinking about Gin, her next drink, and her mini-taichou. The next issue, however, caught her entirely off guard.

"_We will send a small group of auxiliary Shinigami to support Hitsugaya-taichou in case Kurosaki Ichigo comes back_," Yamamoto said.

"_I propose we send Kuchiki Rukia due to her knowledge of the living world,"_ Kuchiki Byakuya said. At the other captains' shocked stares, he continued. _"She should be safe there, as safe as if she were in Soul Society."_

"_Ah, I see. Does anyone dissent_?" When no one stirred, Yamamoto continued.

"_Who else will go?" _

"_I want Nemu to go; I heard that these wizards-" _

"_We don't have the resources to alienate our new 'allies', Kurotsuchi, so I'm afraid your request must wait until after the war." _Almost everyone agreed with the statement.

"_I want to follow my taichou,"_ Matsumoto volunteered. "_And I want to be able to lift my limit as_ _well." _

"_That is… not unreasonable_," Yamamoto confirmed.

"_I'm sending my third and fifth seats to go check up on Kurosaki to make sure he c'n fight me again_," Kenpachi (of all people!) said.

"_I wanna go too_," Renji added as well. Byakuya frowned at this breach of propriety, but said nothing.

"_We already have enough people_," Yamamoto said, forestalling Soi Fong's question. _"However, you may go and check up with Shihouin Yoruichi, Urahara Kisuke, and Kurosaki Isshin, as I believe he prefers to call himself now." _

Soi Fong's nod told him everything he needed to know. Matsumoto only hoped that her meeting with Yoruichi wouldn't be disappointing.

"_So now that that's been discussed, we need to ascertain the loan of Hell Moths to Divisions Three, Five, and Nine… Apparently, Aizen, Gin, and Tousen had released or destroyed the Hell Moths of their respective divisions, most likely to disrupt the Seireitei in whatever way they can…" _

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October 1, the living world.

Dumbledore watched over his students at breakfast… ah, they had no idea just how much they could be manipulated… his favorite puppet, Harry Potter, was no exception. But it was all for the greater good.

He could only wait to see about the Shinigami.

With an internal nod, he got up, knowing the upcoming news he was about to give would plunge the Ministry in further disrepute.

"Attention please." Everyone quieted down almost immediately. Dumbledore kept an eye out for Malfoy; he needed to goad that boy in the right direction. "I am pleased to announce that tomorrow, the Ministry of Magic will be conducting a check up on the classes here to make sure they are satisfactory."

Judging from the displeased crowd, the wording and the subtle hint of displeasure had caught their attention. Stupid fools. As he sat down again, he watched the Shinigami sit down. Near him was the other transfer student, who appeared to be nothing more than a bumbling, cheerful, optimistic fool. He knew better, however.

And he would have to wait to see about that Ichigo Kurosaki.

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"How do you feel, Ichigo?" Shinji asked.

A bloody, black lump on the ground stirred. "Considering the circumstances, not that bad, actually." Only a fool would have missed the sarcasm and the hope in his voice. "…Sorry, but it ain't gonna happen," he whispered, clutching the handle of a long black sword…

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Done! Eleven pages, right down to the last few lines… Three plus (?!) weeks to write it… I ran into writer's block on pages three, three, five, seven, nine. Sucked, to be true. But now my muse is back and my imagination is producing plot points 24/7.

Sorry for the cliffhanger(s), but it was intentional. Don't kill me for the next few weeks while I update my other fics and write the next chapter…


	4. Chapter 4

g2stupid: Yay! 'Nother chappie! Sorry for the delay.

Tensa-chan: Duh, what else?

2stupid: Uh, this is the twenty-fifth time Chapter 16 of Demon Diary had frozen mid-download?

Tensa-chan: What? checks download thingie Oh, crap.

2stupid: Oh, and our sisters' dog just peed on our bed.

Tensa-chan: vein

11111111111111111111

Chapter 4

11111111111111111111

It was the morning before the day of the infamous Ministry visit, breakfast time.

"I'm back!" Ichigo said, slamming open the door. Hitsugaya heaved a mental sigh of relief as he realized Ichigo wasn't wearing his uniform or Zangetsu and applied himself to his eggs, mentally telling himself to send a report to Soul Society about the substitute Shinigami's return.

Of course, he probably looked fairly callous right now, ignoring his 'friend's' triumphant return. But hey, that kid was nothing more than a series of complications. Necessary complications, but complications nonetheless.

And, like all pregnant mothers, Hitsugaya Toshiro _hated_ complications.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime squealed, nearly squashing the poor, hapless idiot as she latched onto his head. "You're back!"

"Alright, break it up, break it up." The teachers moved in to restore order.

"I'll see you after class," Hitsugaya muttered to Ichigo as he passed him by on the way to class.

"_Does he hate me because I was gone so long?_" Ichigo wondered off the top of his head.

"Hey, Ichigo!" It was the Golden Trio.

"Yeah?"

"Come on! We'll be late for Potions class, and Snape'll dock points!"

"Yeah, coming!" He ran to catch up with them, forgetting he had none of his Potions supplies with him.

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_Hinamori was singing. _

"_Do you like watermelons, Shiro-chan?" she asked, turning to him. The slightly shabby kimono she wore was now dirtstained and grungy from her poking around the watermelon patch. _

"_I don't know," he said, the admission rankling. "I've never tried one." _

"_Come on, then!" Hinamori replied, picking up one huge green fruit. "They're really good!" _

Hitsugaya woke up.

"_What was that about_?" he muttered. "_I didn't know I was so sentimental_."

"What?" one of his yearmates asked tiredly.

"Nothing. Go back to bed."

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Ichigo received his first letter by owl mail that very same day at lunch, nearly managing to skewer the poor bird before he realized it carried a packet.

And in that packet was Kon.

The first thing the lion plushie did was jump up and attack Ichigo. Once he, Orihime, and Hitsugaya had paralyzed the mod soul and dragged it off (with help from lots of rope and binding spells) somewhere private, Kon revealed that Urahara had sent him… just in case the 'shorty taichou' wasn't available.

Hitsugaya swore that the inane shopkeeper would pay.

"So, yeah!" Kon finished.

"Oh, hell no. I am _not_ going to let that idiot take over my body!" Ichigo retorted. "I'm sending you back to Urahara!"

"But, but!" The mod soul looked rather bereaved at the thought of not being able to see any hot girls for a while.

"He's right," Hitsugaya spoke up. "You're rather loud, annoying, and all too visible. We don't want that."

"But-!"

"We said 'no'," Ichigo replied, rather rudely.

"The owl Urahara sent is gone! You can't send me back!"

"I'll just borrow one of the school's!"

"Urahara'd probably just blast it out of the air with a kidou, you know," Hitsugaya replied. However, Ichigo was not to be deterred.

Ichigo almost dragged a bird awake in his urge to be rid of Kon. The tousled tawny owl hooted its displeasure, then flew off grumpily with the Kon package. Hitsugaya released his binding spell and wondered what Ichigo would say when Kon appeared on his doorstep the next day; the Mod Soul was certainly smart enough (and perverted enough) to be on its own way.

"He'll come back, you know," he warned Ichigo, but Ichigo wasn't paying him any attention.

Thoughts in Ichigo's head: Yatta! He's finally gone! Now my life can go back to normal!... Define 'normal'…

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And then the Ministry visited. At breakfast, Scrim-whatever-his-name-was (Scrimgeour?) and his retinue (Fudge had been deposed due to the evidence that Voldemort had indeed been back… the odd attacks lately had been thought to have been his work. Some of them actually were.)

Only the Shinigami knew better, that Aizen was trying to rid the world of potential enemies or rivals. To do so, he had spared the being that Voldemort had become, Arrancar 73, Corre de Muerte.

Hitsugaya supposed that Corre was now well on his way to becoming an Espada, but now he had other concerns. Currently, he was sitting in Defense Against the Dark Arts, listening to an annoying but powerful greasy git talk on and on about dangerous spells he didn't really care about.

"Excuse me," Scrimgeour said coolly. "But I believe that some of these are illegal."

"And if you believe that these are illegal, then do you also believe that the Dark Lord's minions will refrain from using them?" Snape answered coldly.

"You," Scrimgeour pointed at Hitsugaya, who internally frowned. Now was not the time to get ensnared in pointless Wizard power struggles. "What would you do if someone shot a curse at you?"

"Avoid it," Hitsugaya replied flatly.

"Anything else?" Scrimgeour frowned.

"Retaliate."

"And you… are from Slytherin house?" It was a redhead that had spoken up now.

"No… Gryffindor. Not that it matters, really. Just an old hat spouting nonsense."

"Do you really think so?" That same redhead sounded fairly upset at his observation.

"You're all human; you all have magic. You all share many of the same traits. What's so different but for the choices you make?"

"Stop spouting bad philosophy at me," last year's toad-like woman grumbled. Vaguely, Hitsugaya wondered if the drug he had covertly given her worked still. "We're all older than you are."

"Ah, resorting to clichés… the last alternative of a woman with no imagination or thoughts of her own," Hitsugaya said testily, wondering where his usual maturity went. He'd almost prefer shouting at Matsumoto to stop sleeping and do paperwork than this. Almost.

But, in the meantime, he had a mission, one that involved shocked people staring at him.

"Yeeeees?" he drawled. Acting like a brat was so fun; he could understand why a lot of the others did it now. "Are you afraid because I'm different?"

There was a squeak, and Scrimgeour coughed politely. "Well, we should be going now… busy schedule, you know." And with that, they were gone.

"One point to Gryffindor for getting rid of the annoying people," Snape broke through. "Fifty points to Slytherin for no Slytherins making inane comments, and five points from Gryffindor for Shiro's less-than-polite demeanor."

Class went on, and Hitsugaya almost wished the Ministry would come back.

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Ichigo, on the other hand, was at Potions when the Ministry came. He blatantly ignored and was blatantly ignored by said Ministry members, who appeared to rather rattled, for lack of a better term.

"_Do you think Shiro managed to annoy them?"_ Orihime, his 'lab partner', asked.

"_I dunno… that Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher seems to be pretty irritating on his own,"_ Ichigo replied.

"_That's true_," Orihime giggled, reaching in and dropping in some more dung beetles.

"_Don't put in any more_," Ichigo said. "Now we just stir counterclockwise six times and wait."

"_Got it_!" Orihime stirred appropriately, then pulled out her stir-stick and sat down. Ichigo began cleaning up their supplies.

"_Hey, Inoue-san_," Ichigo said, watching the teacher converse quietly with the Ministry members. _"What do you think they're talking about?" _

"_I dunno! Maybe bullfighting!" _

'_Bullfighting? Where's she coming up with this crap from?_' Ichigo thought, mentally sweatdropping.

"_Whatever you say, then_." Ichigo leaned closer to try to listen in on their conversation, but had no luck.

"_Can you hear_?" Orihime whispered conspiratorially, but when Ichigo shook his head, she began her own espionage.

A rather flummoxed Ichigo simply stared and watched Orihime listen in on some very, very unsuspecting Ministry members and one fat teacher. After a while, she crawled back and shook her head at him.

"_Just something on Voldemort_," she muttered, having been acquainted with the man's legend soon after her introduction into the Wizarding world. "_Hey, our potion's ready!_"

Yes, Kurosaki Ichigo decided, Inoue Orihime was a very unique girl.

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"_Hey, why were the Ministry people here today_?" Ichigo asked. Hitsugaya didn't even look up from his homework (explain the differences between Muggle and Magical myths).

"_You do realize that the Wizarding world believes that Shinigami are fake, but that 'mere Muggles' believe they are real, right?" _he asked. To his surprise, Ichigo burst out in laughter.

"_Oh, if only they knew_," he managed to gasp out between laughs.

"_Exactly_," Hitsugaya said, penning out another long, complicated sentence. "_Even the Unspeakables are unsure if they're dealing with true Shinigami or just a cruel ghost coalition_."

"_Unspeakables_?" Ichigo asked, curious. "_They sound like some criminal group or something_."

"_They're not_," Hitsugaya replied. "_They work for the Ministry, almost like the Twelfth Division does._"

"_Oh." _

"_What did you want to talk to me about_?" Hitsugaya asked. "_Surely you're not just curious about the Ministry people; you could've asked anyone about that._"

"_Well, I was hoping to know if it were possible to get into Hueco Mundo_," Ichigo said sheepishly.

"_Why on earth would you want to do that?_" Hitsugaya frowned, carefully blocking out a phrase. No, nothing mentioned Hell Moths...

"_Oh, and also, Professor McGonagall told me to go to a meeting for my 'career choice', but I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't know any jobs here." _

"_Tell them you want to be a garbage man. They're virtually omnipresent." _

"_Oh, hell no!" _

"_Why not? It's not as if you're actually going to stay and become a garbage man, anyways." _

"_But… that's just wrong! Is there any equivalent of a Shinigami in their world?" _

"_It is against Soul Society's laws to mention Shinigami to humans and just about anything still living,"_ Hitsugaya said. "_But you could always try to say 'Auror'. They're some kind of elite magical police." _

"_Alright then… thanks_." Ichigo left, and Hitsugaya was left to sit and stare at Shinigami legends, ranging from the barely credible but still false to the outrageously untrue. Like that legend about bankai, for instance. Everyone knew that zanpakuto (no, they're not called magical swords, book) weren't handed down from teacher to student! That was for Quincy!

With a sigh, he finished his essay and tucked it away in his book bag. This was just like being back at the Academy all over again.

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"_Why are we doing this again?"_ Matsumoto yelled over the harsh screeching sound of one of the Arrancar.

"_They attacked us out of nowhere! Just keep fighting! Hopefully, Hitsugaya-taichou or someone else will be here shortly_!" Renji yelled.

"_What if they aren't_?" Rukia asked, blasting an arm off one unlucky Illforte Grantz with a well-placed kidou.

"_They we'll just win anyways_," Ikkaku said confidently, hacking away at another.

"_We're here_!" Hitsugaya called into the fray as he and Ichigo joined in and both bands scattered. Miracle of miracles, he just so happened to be teamed up against said armless Illforte Grantz.

"Skewer him, Del Toro!" But then again, since when did Illforte Grantz need arms?

"_We've been approved to lift our limits, taichou!_" Matsumoto yelled from her own fight not fifty feet away.

"_Got it_!" Hitsugaya, seeing that he had no choice, lifted his limit, activated his bankai, and promptly destroyed the hapless Arrancar.

Matsumoto likewise also lifted her limit, blew her fat opponent off the ground, and joined him.

"_Inoue-san can heal you_," Hitsugaya said. "_I'm a bit more worried about Ichigo-san, though. The Arrancar he's fighting with was the strongest one of the lot_."

The two arrived, along with Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Renji, to hear Grimmjaw's lecture on the differences between the Espada and the Arrancar, then his showing his '6' tattoo. It was only the arrival of Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Yumichika, and a very beat-up Ikkaku (who had to be assisted by his friend) that forced Grimmjaw away.

And into Tousen's hands. The ex-Shinigami retrieved his evil minion and went back to Hueco Mundo.

"_Captain, now would be a very good time for Orihime's abilities_," Matsumoto said, raking her eyes over the injured fighters.

"_She's back at the school," _Hitsugaya said_. "Come on!" _

As he led the group back to the castle, he wondered how he was going to explain the sudden increase in population to the Headmaster.

On second thought, leave that to Matsumoto.

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"Hellooooo!!!!!" Matsumoto screamed, throwing open the doors to the Great Hall halfway through breakfast. Ichigo, Orihime, and the rest of the breakfasting student population stared. Hitsugaya and a few other stragglers were catching up on sleep, never mind their classes.

"Hey, Ichigo!" Rukia said, framed by the early morning light as she stood in the window openings traditionally used by mail owls. "What's up?"

"Eeeeehh!?"

"Rukia-kun!"

"Long time no see, Ichigo!"

And then the whispers started.

"-he knows them?-"

"-do you think-"

"-delinquents-"

"-baldy-"

"-redhead-"

"-tattoos-"

"-weird fashion sense-"

"-hottie there-"

"-baldy-"

"-funky eyebrows-"

"-feathers in his eyebrows-"

"-sexy lady-"

"-baldy-"

"Yare yare, how troublesome," Yumichika said. "Everyone's so ugly here."

"WHO SAID BALDY?!" Ikkaku screamed. "Come out now and fight!" He drew Hoozukimaru.

"Stop fighting," Matsumoto said. "Everyone's staring."

"And there's nothing wrong with my eyebrows!" Renji added. "Who insulted me?!" He pulled out his own zanpakuto.

"And I suppose taichou would be mad that people would be insulting his lack of height and unusual hair color if he were here?" Matsumoto wondered.

"Still, there's no need to start attacking everyone, Ikkaku, Renji," Yumichika placated.

"IT'S YOU!!!" Ichigo screamed, pointing at Yumichika.

"Yeah? So what? I don't remember ugly people all that well," Yumichika said beautifully.

"I'M NOT UGLY!" His roar shook the rafters, and up in the Gryffindor room, Hitsugaya woke up with a start.

"_KUROSAKI!!! SHUT UP NOW!!!"_ he screamed.

Listening to her captain, Matsumoto couldn't help but giggle. Who knew her taichou could be so immature? She almost wished she had a Hell Moth with her to capture the moment… as it was, she could almost imagine the look on Hitsugaya's face currently.

Rukia, on the other hand, was laughing outright. She kept laughing as she sat down on the windowsill and took up a relaxed pose. The student body now looked positively baffled.

"Well, I would say that Hogwarts has some unexpected visitors." Trust Dumbledore to get to the quick.

"Well, we needed a place to stay, and we heard that some of our friends were in town, so we decided to come here!" Matsumoto explained.

"Oh, Hell no!" Ichigo screamed. "There's already _waaay_ too many people here! No!"

"Pretty please?" Matsumoto began… playing… with her zipper. Hmm… it seemed to have a problem staying up.

"Aaargh! Stop taking off your clothes!" Matsumoto gave him the puppy eyes.

"You seem to have forgotten that the decision of whether to stay or not does not reside with Mr. Kurosaki," Dumbledore said, an amused smile on his face. His eyes twinkled, and Matsumoto could have sworn that he was a closet pervert.

("_Mr_. Kurosaki? That's lame, Ichigo!" "Shut up, Ikkaku!" "Make me!" "But it is lame! And stupid! I mean, '_Mister'_?" "_Renji_!")

"Oh, right! That means I should ask-!"

"Yes, I would be delighted to allow you to stay," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling furiously. Matsumoto almost shuddered… staying at the house (school) of a closet pervert!

"Ummm, actually, I wasn't talking about you," Matsumoto said, appearing incredibly hot and sexy and clueless about it all. In the background, the male Shinigami were engaging in puerile behavior. (read: they're fighting)

"Well, I'm sure that he would allow you to stay here as well," Dumbledore said. He needed to know more about this mysterious organization the three transfer students were affiliated with!

(Ichigo looked up from his headlock with Renji. "Nooo!" Rukia jumped down from the windowsill and kicked him. "What do you mean by that?!")

"I doubt that he would… I mean, the last time I slept over at taichou's place, I kinda ruined his room. And the kitchen. And the living room. And the bathroom. And the…"

"We understand, Miss… I'm afraid I never caught your name."

"Rangiku. Rangiku Matsumoto."

"Miss Matsumoto, then. Welcome to Hogwarts."

("Yeah, right." "Shut up, Ichigo." "Stop biting my leg, Ikkaku!")

"Thanks!"

"And since Mr. Kurosaki-" ("Ha!"-Renji) "appears to know you, why won't we let him show you around the castle today? We'll find a place for you in Gryffindor, as well," Dumbledore said pseudocheerfully. Honestly, Matsumoto supposed, he was like Yamamoto on crack!

"Sure," Ichigo said, sounding slightly disappointed.

"What, don't ya miss us, Strawberry?" Renji joked.

"Yeah! I heard you went missing a while back!" Rukia said suddenly.

"Gah!" Ichigo jumped back from her sudden appearance, a shocked expression on his face. "Don't interrupt like that!"

"I wasn't interrupting," Rukia replied, somewhat smugly. By now, the Hall was dead silent, hanging on to every word of the argument.

"Yes you were!"

"Just shut up and admit she's right," Renji said. "Freaky bastard of a strawberry."

"Insults are the last resort of a man with no vocabulary," Ichigo shot back.

"Was that supposed to be an insult!?"

"Baka! Of course it was an insult!"

"Ooooh, you're paying for that." Ichigo vs. Renji, Round One!

"Stop that." Winner: Rukia! Ichigo and Renji held their faces where she had punched them. "It's rude and unseemly. Besides, everyone's staring."

True enough, the eyes of just about everyone in the enormous room seemed to be glued on the trio.

"How troublesome," Matsumoto said carelessly. "Hey, where's Shiro-kun?"

"Upstairs, sleeping," Ichigo said dryly. "Although why he is, I don't know."

"Hey, Dumbledore! Could you cancel classes for the day while we move in? Thanks!" And with that, classes were cancelled.

Sitting at the Gryffindor table, the Golden Trio and Orihime stared at each other. Life was starting to get weird (or weirder) around here…

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"_So?" _

"_Come on!"_ Matsumoto whined. _"Taichou!" _

"_No! I refuse! It's stupid, useless, and demeaning!" _

"_But it's so cute!" _

"_Matsumoto, I refuse to wear a dress! A PINK dress, nonetheless!" _

"_Awwww! But, taichou, just try it on. Besides, what are you wearing now?" _

"_This is not a dress!" _

"_Yes it is!" _

"_No it's not! It's more like a haori!" _

"_Taichou! Come on! Just humor me! Pleeeaaaase?"  
_

"_No! Just do you paperwork or something!" _

"_Hey! I'll do my paperwork for a week if you wear this!" _

"_No, you won't. You still owe me several dozen years' worth of paperwork from the last times you promised me!" _

"_What's going on?"_ Ichigo said. "_It sounds like you're trying to make Hitsugaya wear a dress_-" Ichigo blinked and looked around again.

Matsumoto was pushing a pink, frilly dress at her mini-taichou, who had somehow been backed into a corner and was desperately trying to avoid it.

"What on earth is going on here?" Ichigo asked.

"_Do we even want to know?"_ Renji wondered, poking his head around the doorway to see inside.

"_Ooh, what a pretty dress, Matsumoto-fukutaichou! Where did you get it?" _

"_Hey, Yumichika, stop ruining the mood!"_ Ikkaku grunted, hefting Hoozukimaru.

"_Actually, Urahara told me to give it to you. He said that the Quincy dude made it for_ _Hinamori,"_ Matsumoto frowned. "_And he wanted you to try it on for size, since the two of you have similar builds. Although why the Quincy would want to make Hinamori-kun a dress, I do not know_."

"_Okay, so Matsumoto doesn't want Hitsugaya to crossdress; they're just measuring the dress for Hinamori-chan? That's fine by me,"_ Renji said, walking off.

"_Where's the camera?" _Yumichika asked. _"I want to take pictures!" _

"_Hell no!" _

"_But they might cheer Hinamori up,"_ Matsumoto said shrewdly.

And so, Hitsugaya found himself wearing a dress and makeup (Where had that come from?) and pouting cutely for the camera.

"_There goes my reputation,"_ he said mournfully.

"_Well, on the bright side, Zaraki-taichou'll think you're too much of a sissy and won't try to fight you anymore," _Ikkaku said. He sounded almost… disappointed? But then, _everyone_ knew that Kenpachi's fights with Hitsugaya made for the best air conditioning in all of Seireitei, especially in summer.

Not to mention all the snow cones they could make afterwards. Eating them kept Yachiru off their backs… and watching two Captain-level people was just plain fun.

"_And Hinamori'll laugh. You do want her to laugh, don't you?" _

"_Fine_," Hitsugaya sulked, changing back into his uniform. "_I'm going to-_" The sudden appearance of a Hell Moth cut them off.

'_This is a message from Yamamoto-soutaichou of the First Division,'_ the message (what else?) played. '_Due to the recent increase in Arrancar, the Seireitei is now on Code Red. Repeat, due to the recent increase in Arrancar, the Seireitei is now on Code Red. All ranking Shinigami have permission to openly carry their zanpakuto at all times, regardless of mission parameters. As things stand, prepare to enter into Code Black. Repeat, prepare to enter Code Black._'

The message ended and the Hell Moth flew away, returning to Soul Society. In its wake, the resident Shinigami stared at each other.

Finally, Ichigo broke the silence. "_What the hell did that thing just say? You guys look like you've just been poleaxed_."

"The Seireitei is now on high alert; all ranking Shinigami have permission to carry their zanpakuto with them, regardless of mission parameters. Sadly, this doesn't include you, Kurosaki."

"_Why not_?" Ichigo was incensed. "_I'm strong enough!_"

"_Due to your… unique status…"_ (the ryoka invasion was already becoming the stuff of Rukongai legend) _"… unfortunately, you have no rank. And that prohibits you from carrying Zangetsu around." _

"_That is so unfair," _Ichigo groused.

"_Look on the bright side_," Matsumoto said in a friendly tone, "_At least no one's going to stare at you weirdly as if you had a giant sword strapped to you back and you can always shunpo back to your room to get Zangetsu._"

"_That's too troublesome_," Ichigo complained.

"_Fine then; if you can find a way to hide Zangetsu without looking suspicious, you can wear the blasted zanpakuto!"_ Hitsugaya finally said.

"_How the _[censored _am_ _I supposed to do that?!" _Ichigo shouted. _"Zangetsu is freakin' huge!"_

"_That's your problem. I just offered you the only viable solution; now you have to make it work." _

And on _that_ cheery note, their unplanned, impromptu meeting broke up.

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Thirteen pages…

Yes. From here on out, the fanfic diverges from the HP canon… and probably from the Bleach canon, although it's already done that…

This is going to be Manipulative!Dumbledore, although it will be a good type of Manipulative!Dumbledore, like in Yarochisai's fic 'Stranded'. For now. It might change later… Depends on Dumbledore's temperament. And yes. To me, Dumbledore is Yamamoto's gigai-gone-wrong on crack.

Oh, in addition, Harry and co. also got their memories wiped, but they're rather suspicious. Dumbledore's been dropping subtle hints where the Golden Trio can pick them up, but there's no hard proof yet, mostly thanks to Hitsugaya's thorough purging of everything Shinigami-related last story/year.

And finally, I'm sorry, HitsuHina fans, but I couldn't put Hinamori in just yet… she needs to do all the Fifth Division paperwork… maybe even the Tenth Division's, since both Hitsugaya and Matsumoto are away…? But she'll be around.

About the author: Said author is writing this when she is supposed to be doing her AP summer assignments. You had better review for this. I didn't risk raising my grades just to have you treat this like any other fanfic! (although this is just like any other fanfic… every single one of them is unique in some way, shape, or form. Sweatdrop) .'' I'm confused now…

Ja ne!


	5. Chapter 5

2stupid: New chapter. Sorry for the slow updates.

Tensa-chan: We only have half an hour a week to write. Don't blame yourself.

2stupid: Aren't we supposed to make time, or something like that?

Tensa-chan: What are you talking about? This was the maximum amount of time we could spare.

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Chapter 5

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"This is stupid," Harry grumbled, attempting to search through the entire Hogwarts Library for anything he could find on Japanese Shinigami myths. "Binns' essay is stupid."

Although why the ghost had suddenly decided to include Shinigami in his curriculum for all fifth and second years was a mystery. Harry suspected it had to do with the new students, but he had no proof. Even Hermione couldn't find anything in the library; all books with possible references were missing.

"There's no reference to it at all," Hermione mourned next to him. "Not even in the library."

"Can't we just make stuff up?" Ron moaned.

"If you think you can get away with it," Hermione said scathingly. "The problem with that is that we have no data whatsoever to work with, so in extrapolating, we might be drawing the opposite conclusions of what truly is, which would be a bad thing."

"Oh," Ron said.

"Yes, that would be a bad thing," Ichigo said, dropping down next to them with a sigh. "I'm so glad I got mine done."

"Already?" Harry asked enviously. "How did you do it that fast?"

"I'm from Japan, remember? Land of the tales of the Shinigami?"

"Ohhhh…." Then, as if on cue, "Help us!"

"Please? We don't have any resources, not even in the library," Hermione pleaded. "Please?"

"Don't ask me, ask Shiro. He knows more than I do." Which, of course, wasn't a lie.

"Know more about what?" Orihime asked.

"Shinigami," Ichigo replied.

"Oh, yeah! That's because he-"

"Could you please stop telling everyone about my past? A person does want to keep his secrets secret, you know." Hitsugaya sat down with a sigh and a steaming mug of tea. "At this rate, everyone in this entire school will know, right down to that last little Ravenclaw first-year with his head in a book."

"Where'd you get the tea from?" Harry asked stupidly. "You didn't go to the kitchens, did you?"

"It's my secret," Hitsugaya said unhelpfully. "Anyways, I heard you were having trouble with the Shinigami essay Binns – it was Binns, right? – assigned, so I decided to come by and help. I won't let you copy my essay, but I will give you facts and details."

"Speak on!" Hermione cheered up, her bookworm side taking over. Hitsugaya obliged.

"As you probably know or have deduced," he began, "Japanese Muggles believe in 'Shinigami'. Whether Japanese wizards do or do not is currently irrelevant. But they have legends that are quite unlike the Western 'Grim Reaper' legends. For one, 'Shinigami' is Japanese for 'Soul Reaper' or 'Death God'. They are also believed to be the souls of the dead come back to haunt or help the living, depending on their natures, and to help other ghosts reach Heaven. They are helped by the power of the gods – or god, depending on which legend you read – and are reputed to be able to exorcise evil ghosts and are sometimes depicted helping onmyouji or exorcists doing such."

"Wait. Let me finish copying that stuff," Hermione muttered, writing full pace. "exorcise, evil ghosts, helping onmyouji, got it."

"What's an on-, on-, whatchamacallit?" Ron asked.

"A lot like an exorcist," Ichigo replied. Hitsugaya just sat and drank his tea, looking exactly like some wrinkled old Japanese wise hermit sitting and waiting for his acolytes to finish jabbering so he could continue imparting wisdom upon them.

Which wasn't entirely false. Hitsugaya just wasn't wrinkly, and he didn't _look_ old. He continued.

"Shinigami have traditionally been a part of Japanese mythology, helping everyone from gods to demons," Hitsugaya recited. "Unlike other spirits, which wear white, the color of death-"

"But black's the color of death," Ron objected.

"In Western mythology it is, but in Asia, black is the color of night. White is the color of death. Continuing, unlike normal spirits, Shinigami wear black, to symbolize their… uniqueness? Anyways, they don't use scythes, they use spells. And swords. The swords are supposed to be special creations that give power to the Shinigami. I don't really know; the stories aren't really clear, but I think that they symbolize the Shinigami office and are what give the Shinigami special powers."

"Anything else?" Hermione said as Hitsugaya paused for breath, wondering just what else he could distort or give away without revealing too much. "This is enough to make an essay, but if you had stories-"

"I dunno. There're stories involving special insects they call 'Jigoku-cho' that can be translated into 'Hell Butterflies', but I just know that they exist, nothing more."

"Thanks," Hermione said, already organizing her notes into an organized essay. "That helps."

"You're welcome." Hitsugaya walked off.

"Hey, do you think we could go to Japan some day?" Hermione asked Ichigo. "After we graduate, of course, but it would be wonderful if we could check out Japanese wizardry."

"Uh, sure," Ichigo said. "I don't know any communities, though; they're really well hidden."

"I think we could ask the Ministry of Magic," Hermione said decisively. "That helps."

"Yes," Ichigo said dryly. "That would. I'm going to ask Hitsugaya if he knows anything."

"What about Orihime?"

"We were childhood friends. We went to the same school, had the same clique. If she knows something about the Wizarding World, I'd eat my shoes."

"Wait. What-?" Hermione gave up just as Orihime came in the door. "Orihime!"

"Hitsugaya, do you know anything about Wizarding communities in Japan?"

"Only that the only one that was ever established was entirely destroyed by Hollows two weeks after its birth," Hitsugaya replied, drawing out a symbol that probably had meaning only to Shinigami officers. "There aren't any."

"Why? I mean, the ones here aren't affected by Hollows," Ichigo objected.

"That's because we Shinigami put up a shield in our original agreement to help the wizards. The shield forcibly pushes and keeps out Hollows before they can do any damage; we have high-level Shinigami patrolling the perimeter at all times, including at least one third seat or Vice Captain. It's also one of the reasons Rukia was never promoted."

"Hey, how come I never heard of it? Wait- what do you mean 'reason Rukia was never promoted'?"

"One, that barrier's nothing compared to the Arrancar. Aizen hasn't shown any inclinations towards it, it's held up by the power of both wizards and Shinigbami, and it's all set; Matsumoto's the Vice Captain patrolling there, helped by twenty others from ten different divisions."

"Ten? And you never answered my question about Rukia."

"The second, fourth, and twelfth divisions do not patrol unless there is something that requires their specific ability. And Kuchiki-taichou requested that Rukia not be promoted to officer because of the extra dangers the officers face, such as the barrier. Otherwise, she could have been a third seat or higher."

"But-"

"Go ask Kuchiki-taichou!"

"Byakuya never tells me anything!"

"Then pester him! Not me! I have homework! And my division's paperwork!"

"So does Byakuya! And he has to run a noble household!"

"He has secretaries for that! And I also took over the fifth division's paperwork as well, so shut up!"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you take over the fifth division's paperwork if you're already drowning in it? Isn't there supposed to be a Vice Captain there?"

"So?" Hitsugaya asked testily.

"Hey, isn't that Vice Captain supposed to be a girl?" Ichigo queried with an expression of sudden revelation. "I see, you-!"

"Urusai!" That last was screamed in a tone loud enough for the entire common room to hear. As a sudden hush fell, Hitsugaya stared at Ichigo in a way that befitted Hyourinmaru more. "Stop bugging me! I'm trying to _work_!"

"Hitsugaya's snapped," Colin whispered to his brother Dennis. He wasn't the only one to say so.

"Shiro-chan!" Orihime squealed, glomping him. "That's so cute!" ("Now she's crazy! LEgasp!")

"NO it's not!" Hitsugaya protested, vainly attempting to extricate himself from her grasp. "Let go of me!... Can't… breathe…"

"Oh, sorry. I keep forgetting that my boobs are too big," Orihime giggled.

"Geez! They're almost as big as Matsumoto's!"

"Really?"

"You weren't supposed to hear that!"

"You're a pervert, Shiro!"

As the threesome began arguing, the Golden Trio huddled together, whispering.

"Hey, do they seem suspicious to you?" Ron asked. "I mean, this Matsumoto person could be working for You-Know-Who!"

"And how did you come up with that conclusion?" Hermione asked scathingly. "They wouldn't mention anyone connected to Voldemort by name. Besides, Dumbledore told us to watch them, not suspect them. Voldemort's gone, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Ron said. "I remember."

"No," Hermione scolded, "You forgot. Otherwise you wouldn't have thought that."

"It's just that the Death Eaters are still on the loose, and they refuse to say he's dead," Harry offered. "As far as I can tell, he's very, very dead."

"Yeah, you would be able to tell, wouldn't you?" Ron said, looking at Harry's scar.

"I haven't heard a whit since the end of last year, when Voldemort was reported killed."

"I find it suspicious that no one remembers Voldemort's death," Hermione said. "It's possible that Voldemort Confounded Dumbledore or did something to that effect, but we don't really know. And why would Voldemort do such a thing? It'd have been easier for him to merely have killed off both Harry and Dumbledore."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Harry said dryly.

"You're welcome," Hermione replied in a distracted way. "No, I somehow believe that Shiro had something to do with Voldemort, something that might have forced Voldemort to back down, and he doesn't want anyone to know."

"Who doesn't want anyone to know? Shiro or Voldemort?"

Harry just shook his head. He wasn't sure on that issue, either.

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Dumbledore considered his options at this point. He knew Voldemort would come back, in one way or another, and he was afraid of _how_.

The Wizarding World wasn't as powerful as it seemed. Even now, the Death Eaters were moving in on the Ministry of Magic, and only the Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries, where a communications had been established with 'Shinigami', were exempt.

But everyone knew that the Department of Mysteries stuck to its own; it would be of no help in the fighting Dumbledore knew would happen next.

And Dumbledore was worried about the Hallows. (AN: Yay! Incorporating Book 7!) He was fairly sure they were Shinigami work, but he didn't know how.

He remembered the legend of the three brothers and the tricky Death - who, despite the wording, was probably nothing more than the average Shinigami.

Considering those thoughts, he put his new plan in motion.

"Please summon Harry Potter, Dobby."

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"Hey, Shiro!" Harry called. Hitsugaya turned, feeling an odd shift in reiatsu near his Housemate.

"What? I'm busy!"

"Come here for a second? Hermione found something she wants to ask you a question about," Harry replied.

"What?" Hitsugaya asked, approaching the trio.

"Have you seen this symbol before?" Hermione asked suddenly, showing him something that resembled a triangular, feline eye.

"Nope. Why?"

Hermione read him the story about three brothers and Death. (If you want that story, go find a copy of Harry Potter #7. You local library or bookstore will definitely have one. Whether it's accessible is another matter.)

'_Dumbledore wanted you to investigate this,'_ Hitsugaya realized, examining their faces, postures, and everything else relevant. _'He thinks it's true.' _

"It's a nice story. It has nothing to do with Shinigami, however, so I don't know why you want me. You should ask Dean or someone else with a relevant viewpoint."

"Really? So there aren't any stories or anything?" Hermione sounded disappointed. Hitsugaya considered what he had read of the Shinigami archives (which was a good part of it); there had been a few incidents in which Shinigami had had to placate English wizards, but nothing that involved three brothers or powerful toys.

"We think that Harry's Invisibility Cloak might be the one Death gave to the third brother," Hermione explained.

"Really?" Hitsugaya asked, raising an eyebrow. "What makes you think that?"

There was silence, for a while, broken only by the distant chatter of their Housemates and of the cheerfully crackling fire.

Then, Hermione sighed and admitted, "Harry's Invisibility Cloak has certain… attributes that no other Invisibility Cloak has. For one, the invisibility factor hasn't worn off; for another, it just _feels_ different from all the other Invisibility Cloaks I've seen."

"And that's reasonable basis for a legend to come to life? For all you know, the person who made the cloak could have enchanted it differently."

"Shiro, Invisibility Cloaks aren't enchanted; they're woven from Demiguise hair and lose potency and become visible after enough time. There aren't any enchantments in the making."

"Alright, perhaps someone put a spell that slowed the effects of the visibility factor. It could be anything."

"But we don't-"

"Besides, what about the other two factors? The wand and the stone. I haven't heard any stories about _those_, you know. Even as a familial heirloom, that cloak probably isn't the one in the story."

"But-"

"No, Hermione, he's got a point," Harry said, sending her a look.

"Can I see your cloak?" Hitsugaya asked politely.

"Sure," Harry said. "Just let me get it."

When Harry retrieved the cloak, Hitsugaya retracted his disbelief mentally; the cloak virtually oozed reiatsu, yet at the same time hiding any traces of it. Unless one were very sensitive or talented, he or she would probably never even notice any traces of reiatsu.

This definitely wasn't normal Shinigami work. And if this was an example of a Hallow, he shuddered to think at the possibilities the others held.

And still… it seemed to be the kind of thing that remained relatively harmless.

"It's pretty," he finally said. "But how would I know if something has to do with Shinigami or not? All I have to go on are a bunch of stories." And in this case, that was true, although his meaning was probably different from their interpretation. "Tell me if it works, though. Are there any descriptions of Death or of the time period?"

"Ummm… it's several centuries ago, so I'd say late sixteenth to nineteenth centuries, and it just says 'dangerous ford in England'," Hermione guessed. "There were no pictures of Death; it just says that he looked rather ghastly and wore a big, black cloak. Why?"

"Maybe historical context? You might want to check your History of Magic textbooks for other incidents of the sort," Hitsugaya said. "It's what I'd do, if I were interested."

"But you aren't," Hermione confirmed.

"No, I'm not," Hitsugaya agreed. "I have better things to do with my time and resources." _'Like tracking down the Espada and reporting this to the Seireitei.' _

"Thanks for your help," Hermione said, already pulling out her rather battered History textbook.

"Thanks. I'm going to go finish that essay on moonstones now. Bye."

After Hitsugaya had left and Hermione had been unsuccessful in relating other tales of the Hallows or of important dates, Harry finally realized something.

"Wait. Didn't we get that essay on moonstones in our _third_ year?"

"Who knows, man," Ron replied, busily scratching away with his quill. "You know how Snape is. He and Shiro probably got into some pissing contest and Shiro got bundled up with an essay for homework."

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In the Shinigami Captains' meeting room, Soi Fong released a Hell Moth with a message from Hitsugaya and a picture of the symbol.

"Does anyone have any idea what that symbol is?" Yamamoto asked once all the Captains and Vice Captains present had seen the image.

"It looks familiar," Byakuya and Ukitake said at the same time.

"Does anyone actually recognize it, however?" Unohana rephrased. "I certainly do not. And Hitsugaya-taichou's report is a little… disturbing."

"More than just that," Soi Fong conceded. "To think that someone could have done something like this behind our backs… is both frightening and embarrassing."

"Oh, yeah, your division does the policing, Soi Fong," Shunsui reminisced.

"Were you drunk again last night?" Komamura asked disapprovingly.

"Yes, he was," Nanao replied scathingly.

Several others around the room sighed.

"Back on topic?" Matsumoto requested politely. The sooner the meeting was over, the sooner she could get back to her sake…

"Right. We will do nothing more than ask Hitsugaya-taichou to observe," Yamamoto decreed. "We are running on far too little information on this subject at this point. Next order of business; the possibility of repairing the Soukyoku. I say that we should merely ensure that the hill is in no danger of falling down and causing damage to the Seireitei. Are the any other opinions?"

"Well, I say that…" The meeting went on, yet all the members present were preoccupied by the thought of an unknown Shinigami's rogue actions.

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"Arrancar 73, Corre de Muerte," Ulquiorra chose. "I want these four to come with me."

"Alright," Aizen acquiesced. "The portal to the material world has already been opened. It will drop you off just outside the border, in between two different patrols. You will have five minutes there to get through and out of sight."

"Yes, Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra left.

"It's a pity the barrier covers half the northern hemisphere," Aizen mused slightly to Gin after Ulquiorra had gone. "It will slow down matters somewhat."

"Do ya wan' me ta check up on 'em?" Gin drawled.

"If you wish to. It's neither necessary nor imprudent."

"See ya, then." Gin waved and followed in Ulquiorra's footsteps before realizing that, as a Shinigami, he could open a portal directly inside the barrier.

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Hinamori sighed. One signature down… Hinamori currently sat in a guarded room in the Fourth Division's medical center, doing the part of her division's paperwork that Hitsugaya wasn't.

"I miss Shiro-kun," she confided to the empty room. "And Aizen-sama."

"Then I hope you're going to be happy that we have a mission to check up on him," Rukia said, opening the door.

"Kuchiki-san!"

"What? I got permission from Yamamoto-soutaichou."

"Thank you!" Hinamori got up and hugged her. "But how did you get permission?"

"I told him that your seeing Hitsugaya-taichou would help you stabilize," Rukia said, winking. "Besides, I have to deliver a confidential message. Nii-sama thinks that I'll still be safe behind the barrier."

"I…"

"Come on! Even Unohana gave her permission."

"Eeek!"

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Back at Hogwarts, Hitsugaya flinched when he recognized a pair of portals being opened; one close to the school, the other farther, somewhere near southern Spain.

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Everyone's gathering together, lol. Don't worry, Espada still has a long way to go. I plan on ending both the conflicts of the Bleach and Harry Potter worlds, or at least the Harry Potter world… the Bleach world(s) can take care of itself.

Oh, if anyone could give me some Shinigami legends, that would be great. I don't have any, so I bs'ed everything up.

Please read and review. Please please please. Although if you've gotten here, you've probably already fulfilled the 'read' part.

EXPLANATIONS BELOW!

Finally, I do realize that I'm adding in certain elements that weren't there in 'Arrancar'. The reason? They weren't important back then, so Hitsugaya didn't really consider it. Now, they are, and Hitsugaya is considering it.


	6. Chapter 6

2stupid: We're back!

Tensa-chan: sarcastically Yatta!

2stupid: Now, if anyone is willing to write a short essay on American History for us, we can update faster. However, our identity is unknown, so we can't pay you.

Tensa-chan: Which makes the whole point moot. It'd just be too troublesome.

2stupid: Yeah… I guess.

Tensa-chan: Isn't it funny how we're more enamored of the Naruto fanfictions than we are of the series now?

2stupid: That's just weird.

Tensa-chan: Oh, well.

"English"

'Thoughts/Hell Moths'

"_Japanese" _

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Chapter 6

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"I'm bored," Ichigo complained.

"Then do your homework," Hitsugaya replied unrepentantly.

"But I don't want to! It's boring, hard, and shitty!"

"I know!"

"Don't you want to graduate?" Hermione said impatiently.

"Gah! Where'd you come from?!" Ichigo cried, jumping and falling out of his seat in surprise.

"I was walking by when I heard you," Hermione said. "There's a new notice up on the board."

"Really?"

"Hogsmeade visit!" Orihime squealed. "Third years and up!"

"When?" Ichigo asked.

"Next weekend! Harry, Ron, and Hermione told me all about it, and it sounds really, really fun!"

"Ummm… okay."

A loud boom from the perimeter of the grounds cut them off. Hitsugaya cursed, recognizing the spiritual pressure. No one else did.

"What was that?" Ichigo asked. "Where did that huge spiritual pressure come from?"

Hitsugaya felt like slamming his head into the desk. Hard. Repeatedly.

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Rukia's cell phone rang.

"Crap!" she gasped. "There's a Hollow nearby!"

"Where?" Hinamori asked, drawing her zanpakuto.

"Right-" A Hollow fell from the sky, followed by another. "-above us!"

"Burst, Tobiume!"

Rukia sweatdropped at the charred, burned, swiftly disappearing hulks. "That was fast."

"Fast is good!"

"Ano…."

"Yes?"

"Do you sense that?"

"It's the Arrancar!"

"We have to warn Ichigo and the others!" And the two young (or not so young, depending on whose outlook of 'life') women shot off.

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The twelfth division's monitors picked up several large reiatsu.

"Oh, crap," one slug-like person (more like Bawa-Bawa, for the manga readers) cursed.

"What?" his superior asked.

"How did they-!!!"

"Quick! Warn the captains!"

And full chaos and panic descended upon the twelfth division soul traffic monitoring center, so much that no one saw another blip appear on the screen, then hide as its owner squelched his reiatsu.

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"Are you sure they're coming in through here?" Ichigo asked. 

"No."

"Then why-!"

"Because this is possibly where they came in last time."

"Yo," a voice drawled.

"Ichimaru!" Hitsugaya snapped the same time Ichigo and Orihime said, "YOU!"

"I wouldn't wait here just yet," Gin drawled happily. "They're coming in from above."

Just then, the castle's defenses blared warning.

"See? Told ya! Bye!" And the happy ex-Shinigami trotted off.

"I hate you," Hitsugaya muttered to the man's retreating back.

The silence was broken by Ichigo. "So, ummm, who was he again?"

"Ichimaru Gin, former Captain of the Third Division, now one of Aizen's lackeys and Soul Society's most wanted."

"Oh, yeah! He was that guy who went up the Negation Beam. Him, Aizen, and the black dude. The blind one."

"Tousen."

"So what's he doing here?"

"Nothing good, obviously."

"I mean, he didn't even try to contact Orihime," Ichigo said. "Why?"

"Because he's just warning us about the real kidnapping attempt?" Hitsugaya growled, looking upwards at a small group of rapidly descending dots.

"Heh." Ichigo smirked, then paused. "How do you get out of this gigai?"

"Did you bring Soul Candy?"

"No. Did you?"

"No."

"Inoue?"

"I'm sorry."

"Then what the hell are we doing here?"

"Hitsugaya-kun!" a panicked female voice screamed as Hinamori shunpo-ed directly into him and Ruki slammed into Ichigo.

"Get… off… me…" Hitsugaya grunted, shoving his long time (and best) friend off himself.

"RUKIA!" Ichigo screamed.

"Do you have Soul Candy?" Hitsugaya interrupted.

"Chappy!" Rukia squealed, producing a rabbit-headed PEZ-stick-resembling candy dispenser.

"NO!" Ichigo screamed. Hitsugaya took one, swallowed it, and left his gigai.

"Then get Kon, get out of your body, and protect Inoue-san!"

"Burst, Tobiume!" Hinamori sent a fireball at the oncoming Arrancar, who ducked.

"Soar in the frozen skies, Hyourinmaru!" A wingless, limbless ice dragon snaked into the sky after the fireball. (AN: 'Souten ni zase', Hitsugaya's shikai command, can also be translated as 'sit upon the frozen heavens'. In fact, that's what it's usually translated as.)

Ichigo and Orihime ran back towards the school with Hitsugaya's gigai as the three Shinigami attacked the Arrancar. They hoped they could explain the technical 'death' of the second-year student without any problems.

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"You're telling me that Shinigami exist, are in a war with advanced hybrid-Hollows, and are currently on campus?" Professor McGonagall asked skeptically. "And that Jyunrinan (AN: Hitsu-kun, if you haven't forgotten) is one of them?"

"Something like that, yeah," Ichigo replied. "So could you let us in Dumbledore's office?"

"Give me one reason why I should believe you," Professor McGonagall stated.

"Because we exist?" a snakelike voice drawled. "Where's the white-haired brat?"

"Your opponent is me," Ichigo stated.

"No, it's not," a certain blue-haired ex-Espada Numero Seis snapped. "It's me!"

"Grimmjaw! What happened to your arm? Did it fall off in fright?"

"Idiot! I decided I wouldn't need two arms to defeat you and left it at home!"

"Gah! Liar! Bankai, Tensa Zangetsu!"

"Grind, Pantera!"

Blade screeched against claw as Ichigo and Grimmjaw attacked each other. Orihime and Professor McGonagall wisely backed out of range and The Amazing Snakeboy slithered out the window to find his prey.

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Hitsugaya's troubles weren't assuaged when he saw another Arrancar heading their way.

"Hinamori!"

The Arrancar attacked.

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Ichigo and Grimmjaw had jumped out the window long ago and were now fighting over the lake. The giant squid was nowhere to be found.

"Take this! Gatsuga Tenshou!"

"Cero!"

"Eeek!"

"Orihime!"

"I'm fine! Where's Shiro-chan?"

"He's back in the forest with reinforcements!"

"What? Who?"

Ichigo and Grimmjaw were already back to ripping each other apart.

On the other side of the lake, in the section bordered by the Forbidden Forest, Ulquiorra stared at the mess.

"This is troublesome," he muttered before running after Orihime, aka. the Human girl. Just because he would do anything for Aizen-sama didn't mean he had to put up with this.

Quietly, he snuck behind her.

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Hitsugaya froze as his opponent suddenly backed off and left, following some unseen signal. Ichigo attempted to chase, but the Arrancar disappeared into Hueco Mundo.

"Where's Inoue?" Ichigo asked suddenly, shattering his mask.

"Crap," Hitsugaya cursed, realizing why the Espada had suddenly left.

"Inoue!" Ichigo ran off, screaming. Hitsugaya stayed, knowing it would be futile.

"Then I failed," he muttered. "I failed, and now I'm too late. Just like I was last time." Briefly, his mind flashed back to Hinamori before he turned and summoned a Hell Moth. It was time to pass on the bad news.

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Ichigo looked at the crazy ex-Captain turned shopkeeper suspiciously. _"You'd be willing to open a portal for us?" _

"_Yep,"_ Urahara agreed.

"_A portal. To Las Noches." _

"_Yep." _

"_There's a Shinigami representative here. A Captain. You can open it without his noticing?" _

"_Yep. It's already been prepared." _

"_Don't you remember what happened the last time you sent us through a frickin' portal!"_ Ichigo yelled, flipping a table at Urahara.

"_Well, do you want to save Orihime-chan or not?"_ Urahara asked, hiding his face behind a fan.

"_Inoue's not the container for something large and spectacular like the Hyougouku, is she? And don't call her Orihime-chan." _

"_Other than her rather impressive powers, no." _

"_Fine, then." _

"_Good. Yoruichi's getting Hitsugaya-taichou out of the way as we speak." _

"Okay."

"Good. The thing's outside."

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Hitsugaya supposed it was good that he had been so young when he died, or else he would have had serious trouble ignoring a certain cat-lady in his face. He released the Hell Moth to return to Soul Society.

Pushing aside the thought of 'Where on earth did she and the ex-Twelfth Division Captain come from', Hitsugaya attempted to focus his reiatsu on the ryoka he was supposed to babysit.

And he was being blocked by Yoruichi.

"_Are you trying to keep me away from Kurosaki-san for a reason?"_ Hitsugaya asked irritably.

"_Nope!" _

Well, at least she was a better liar than Matsumoto was.

Hitsugaya had had enough and got up.

"_Where are you going?"_ Yoruichi pouted. He mentally shuddered.

"_Bathroom."_ He slipped inside the castle, intending to find Kurosaki; his gigai actually couldn't use the restroom, as its quality wasn't quite high enough.

He found Ichigo's reiatsu, but before he could enter the room the ryoka was in, Yoruichi suddenly appeared.

"Your gigai isn't capable of such bodily functions. Kisuke told me it disperses waste product through the skin."

Oh, crap. On the other hand, he was probably never going to use a gigai again.

He pulled out of the piece of junk and drew Hyourinmaru.

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Ichigo turned at the sounds of fighting outside the door.

"Ahh, Yoruichi failed. Well, your friends Sado and Ishida are waiting with Abarai-fukutaichou and Kuchiki Rukia. Now move it."

Ichigo ran through the portal just as the door collapsed due to a high-level kidou spell.

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Hitsugaya cursed softly as the portal to Hueco Mundo collapsed. Behind him, Yoruichi muttered a curse.

Suddenly, petals were falling across his vision.

He heard a female voice murmuring something indistinct before he was out.

"_Bakufuku." _

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When he woke up, he was already back in his gigai. Yoruichi was sitting next to him, incidentally holding him down.

"_They're gone already," _was all she said.

"_I know. I now get stuck with the official consequences,"_ Hitsugaya grumbled back.

"Poor Hitsugaya-chan," Yoruichi mocked.

"Shut up and let me inform Yamamoto-soutaichou."

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"_First order of hand," _Yamamoto said, ignoring a certain Eight Division Captain's complaints about the sudden increase in long, boring meetings.

"_Be quiet, everyone,"_ Yamamoto commanded. _"First off, we have news from Hitsugaya-taichou; his mission has failed. We will now decide whether to pull him back or allow him to remain. Everyone else but Matsumoto-fukutaichou and Hinamori-fukutaichou has already been called back." _

"_If we allow him to remain, he will act as a leash to the ryoka and Substitute Shinigami and prevent them from entering Hueco Mundo,"_ Byakuya said.

"_We have no assurances he will not join them instead,"_ Mayuri replied. _"Especially if the Vice Captain of the Fifth Division chooses to join." _

"_Then we call back the Vice Captain of the Fifth Division," _Unohana said logically.

"_We already need all the Captains to prepare for attack," _Soi Fong dissented.

"_Keeping relations with the Wizarding people is also important, considering their reiatsu,"_ Byakuya said reasonably. "_And_ _they can prepare quite safely there, as well." _

"_And what will we do if Hitsugaya-taichou chooses to defect?"_ Mayuri almost crooned. _"I wa-" _

"_We know what you want, Kurotsuchi-taichou," _Unohana interrupted serenely. _"We will allow the soutaichou to deal with him." _

"_He probably won't defect if we tell him the consequences,"_ Byakuya argued.

"_You never know; he might just do a Kaien on us,_" Ukitake joked. _"They're both geniuses, after all." _

"_So, we have no consensus_," Komamura finally said, golden eyes level.

"_For the time being, let us give Hitsugaya-taichou express orders to prepare for the war and let him choose his own path," _Yamamoto said._ "We will also inform the Wizarding Department of Mysteries." _

"_Why? We'd be better off without them,"_ Shunsui snorted.

"_Of course, but they'd make good cannon fodder," _Soi Fong replied evenly.

"_If they choose to ally with us in the first place,"_ Hisagi said.

"_If they don't, we will leave them to their own devices and withdraw from their little world,"_ Byakuya stated.

"_They could probably care less,"_ Shunsui said dryly.

"_Then maybe it's for the better,"_ Kurotsuchi said. "I can't wait to get one."

"_Well, then, we-"_ Komamura's words were cut off by the sudden appearance of a Hell Moth.

'_The ryoka have vanished into Hueco Mundo under the guidance of Urahara Kisuke. I, Yoruichi Shihouin, would like to talk with the current leaders of Soul Society and the Seireitei on possible terms of rescinding Urahara's exile to help in the war effort and retrieve the ryoka.' _

There was silence for a moment before the meeting, like the one before it and the one before that and almost every meeting prior, dissolved into chaos and the roar of the voices of unhappy captains and acting captains. (Yes, the captains liked arguing, despite Yamamoto's scolding.)

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Hitsugaya cursed quietly as he looked at the former Captain of the Twelfth Division and mad scientist. "_What on earth possessed you to do that_?" he demanded.

"_Nothing, Hitsugaya-_taichou_. It was their own decision, as you know_."

"_At least I should have gone with them! You honestly think they'll survive there_?!"

"_They survived Soul Society, didn't they?" _

"_And half of them would have died had circumstances been different!" _

"_Well, they're much stronger now, eh?" _

"_So are the Arrancar!" _

"_Well, we don't have a choice. If Soul Society rescinds my exile, I will go help them. However, if they do not, I will be sending you over, willingly or not, with full apologies to Yamamoto-soutaichou." _

Hitsugaya could only gape at the crazy man.

"Well," Urahara said, switching to English now that the critical elements of their conversation were over, "we'll know soon, in any case."

"Yes, we will," Hitsugaya snarled as he stalked off. Since he wasn't planning on staying in the Wizarding World, he didn't think it would hurt for him to play hooky (aka. skip class) on this one occasion.

Thus, it was by the smallest of margins that he missed the Hell Moth fluttering down to an uncharacteristically serious Urahara's finger.

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And we all know what's happening in the Hueco Mundo Arc. But for your benefit, we will iterate the stage at which events are occurring.

"So your name is Nell Tu?" Ichigo asked the miniature Arrancar disbelievingly. "Why aren't you with Aizen?"

"Only the Ethpada created from the Menoth Grande or higher become Numeroth," Nell informed him. "Nell ith only an ordinary Arrancar."

"Eh?" Ichigo asked, vaguely surprised.

"Nell will come with you!" the small Arrancar called, jumping around like mad. "To Lath Nocheth, Bawabawa!"

And so, Ichigo and co. were well on their way to the enormous palace that was called Las Noches.

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Hitsugaya went up to his room, intending to have a talk with Hyourinmaru, who was currently stashed in his gigai (thank gods, unlike the last time he was here) and instead finding a rather agitated Hell Moth waiting for him.

"_What is it?" _

'_Abarai-fukutaichou and Kuchiki Rukia have vanished. They are believed to have gone to Hueco Mundo to chase down the ryoka Inoue Orihime.' _

"_Kuso,_" Hitsugaya muttered. He and Hyourinmaru were going to have a long talk indeed.

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Meanwhile, Harry and gang were having a similar tete-a-tete.

"I don't know what Shiro can be if he's not human; he fits no other criteria," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"But," Ron started.

"Wait. What was that thing he wanted us to help him research last year?" Harry interrupted.

"I can't remember," Ron said. "Why's it so important?"

"Me neither," Hermione said, ignoring him. "It's as if he erased our memories-"

"Memory Charm?" Ron interrupted.

"No. The Memory Charm doesn't replace memories. It simply erases them." Hermione chewed her lip, deep in thought. "If only we could remember what it was, we could probably solve the mystery!"

"Gee, you sound like a detective, 'Mione," Ron said.

"We'd best get back to that essay on possible influences Shinigami may have had on the world," Harry said reluctantly. "It's one of the most interesting topics Binns has assigned in a long time."

"Hey, Harry, brother dearest, 'Mione, did you hear the latest? Hogwarts has guests, important foreign guests. And I heard they're all lookers."

"Who?"

His question was answered as a voluptuous blonde woman, a younger, sweet looking, dark-haired adolescent, an oddly purple-haired, dark-skined, catlike lady, and a man with grayish blond hair and a polished cane walked in.

"Them?"

"Yes," Fred said, sounding oddly worshipful. "Aren't they all so hot?"

"We heard that!" the blonde one said cheerily, as if she really didn't care. Harry noticed that she, the man, and the dark-haired girl were wearing black kimono things, while the purple-haired lady wore skintight black and a scarf.

"Has anyone seen Shiro-chan?" the dark-haired girl asked.

"Shiro? You mean the guy with a pineapple up his arse?" one unfortunate Gryffindor asked.

"Shiro-chan does not have a pineapple up his arse!" the dark-haired girl yelled.

"You'd be surprised," Fred, or maybe George, muttered.

"You-" the girl whirled around, her hand dropping to her waist.

"Hinamori?" a soft, shocked voice asked.

"_Shiro-chan!"_ There was a soft silence as the two of them stared at each other, and before anyone could speak, the dark-haired girl had grabbed him in a tight hug. "_I missed you_!"

"_You have bags under your eyes, Hinamori. Have you been getting enough sleep?" _

"_Shiro-chan!_" she protested.

"It's fine, Hinamori. Urahara, what on earth are you doing here? Please don't tell me you're staying."

"How rude, Hitsugaya-taichou. I have to stay somewhere, and I have to tell you Soul Society's decision on my exile."

"_Do you_?" Hitsugaya's voice was cool once more.

"Of course, since it involves both you and Hinamori-fukutaichou there."

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"Waah!" Nell screamed. "Thinigami!"

"What else did you think we were?" Ichigo asked angrily.

Suddenly, an enormous being blocked their path.

"Any who intrude on my desert must die!"

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By the way, Bakufuku's the spell Hinamori used in the SS arc to knock out her guard and escape. It puts the victim to sleep. And yes, Nell the child Arrancar has a lisp. She doesn't when she's Neriel/Neliel, though.

And I'm sorry it took so long; I got writer's block halfway through page three and finished the last half (six pages?) in a little over half an hour. If I keep writing at this rate, I'll get premature arthritis.

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Omake! Because my chappie was so short!

All of Soul Society knows of the giant patch of mutated, enormous, delicious watermelon. Anyone who can get through the high-level barrier to get one is promptly rewarded. What no one (well, almost no one) knows is that this was once Tenth Division Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro's watermelon patch, that it still is, and that he really, really loves his watermelons.

Which is why Ulquiorra was fairly surprised when he tracked the chibi-taichou's reiatsu to a stand of giant fruit. He promptly called Aizen, but was relegated to Syazel.

"Aizen wants us to get a sample of the taichou's reiatsu if we can't find the Shinigami himself," Syazel reported as he stepped through a discreet rift connecting Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. "You appear to have found it."

"Yes," Ulquiorra agreed. He walked through the barrier and picked up a mutated watermelon. Syazel followed and took another specimen to experiment with.

Everyone was fairly surprised when the food of Hueco Mundo suddenly got bigger and more edible. And tasted like watermelon.

Even Aizen was surprised, although he was fairly calm to see Syazel rearing hordes of carnivorous, rather cannibalistic watermelon-Hollows.

And Hitsugaya was infuriated to come back to Soul Society to find that SOMEONE had stolen two of his special watermelons.

His reaction was NOT pleasant.

And somewhere in Las Noches, Ulquiorra suppressed a sneeze, allowing Grimmy to stick him in a rather temporary Caga Negacion.


	7. Chapter 7

2stupid: Here is the next chapter. Started approximately an hour and a half after we posted the last one.

Tensa-chan: Have fun reading! And review!

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Chapter 7

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Hitsugaya watched the Hell Moth flutter slowly through the air as if it had not a care in the world. However, he waited impatiently for the reply. And when it came, it was not one he had been hoping for.

With a snarl, he gave his grudging consent and let it leave.

"_What's wrong, Shiro-chan?"_ Hinamori asked worriedly.

"_Yamamoto-soutaichou and the rest of the Captains want me to go with Urahara to Hueco Mundo after they lift his exile. In addition, several others from Soul Society will go as well."_ Hitsugaya winced; his reply had come out colder than he had expected. _"They want you and Matsumoto to stay here." _

Hinamori smiled_. "Well, I'll be safe, then, so you don't need to worry about me."_ Her face became serious. _"Could you kill Aizen for me?" _

"_What?"_ Hitsugaya wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

"_He's no longer the Aizen we knew. I don't want him to be this way, so could you please save him?" _

"_By killing him?" _

"_What else can we do, Shiro-chan? He isn't Aizen-taichou anymore; he's a monster." _Hitsugaya looked at Hinamori, shocked. He had never, ever expected Hinamori to think this way.

"_I'll do my best,"_ he finally offered.

"_Arigatou, Shiro-chan."_ Hinamori smiled, and suddenly, it was enough for him.

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Up in their common room, the Golden Trio sat in armchairs, looking at the strangers from the day before.

"Shiro seems to know them well," Hermione marked. She wrote her observation down in a little black notebook labeled 'Death Note'.

"Oy, are you keeping a bloody record of Shiro's every action?" Ron asked.

"No, only the significant ones."

"What?"

"Why does your notebook say 'Death Note' on it?" Harry asked curiously.

"Oh, it's from this Muggle book series about a boy who picks up a notebook that kills anyone whose name is written in it. The notebooks normally belong to Death Gods, but-" Hermione broke off, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"'Mione?" Ron asked, waving his hand in her face. "Earth to 'Mione!"

"Sorry," Hermione said, shaking out of her reverie. "I almost remembered something. Anyways, I've never read the series, but I've heard it's good." She wrote down something else in her notebook.

"Hermione forgetting something would be as likely as Shiro being a Death God," Ron said. For a second, they processed that information.

Then they burst out laughing, earning themselves odd and/or annoyed looks.

"_Urusai!"_ a female voice yelled from across the room.

"The Hell does that mean?" Ron called back.

"It means 'shut up'." Ron jumped; Hitsugaya was standing directly behind him.

"Gah! Where'd you come from?"

"Be nice to them; I have... family matters, so I need to leave for a while. They'll take my place here for the time being."

"But, if they're your family-"

"They're not. They're my friends and companions, and that's all you need to know."

"Don't worry; they'll be fine; I'll help them."

"_Hey, taichoooou, guess what? I'm the assistant Potions master!"_ Matsumoto said cheerfully.

"Matsumoto, now is not the time. And what about Hinamori?"

"She'll be fine, too. She's going to be in the same classes as these three are."

"What?" the Golden Trio chorused.

"_Ohayo, minna,_" Hinamori said.

"Hunh? Ohio? Minnows?"

"Ron, can you be more dense? She was just saying 'hi'," Hermione said, whacking Ron with her notebook.

"OW!"

"_I'm not sure she'll be fine with them around,"_ Hitsugaya confided in Matsumoto.

"_Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to Hinamori-chan!"_ Matsumoto said brightly- and loudly enough for everyone else to hear.

Hinamori blushed, and the Golden Trio was entirely clueless.

"_I-I'll be fine, Shiro-chan!"_ she protested.

"_I just want to be sure, okay?"_ Hitsugaya replied, himself blushing.

Just then, several random watching Gryffindor fangirls sighed despite the fact that they had absolutely no idea what was going on, and the two blushed even harder.

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Ichigo and Renji blew a hole through the wall of Las Noches and ran through. Rukia snickered and Ishida made snide comments when Renji messed up on a kido to light the way.

Nell and co. looked at the retreating figures, then ran after them.

"Ithiiiigoooooooo!"

"Nellllll!"

"Bawa bawa!"

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Hitsugaya paced nervously in front of a nonexistent portal to Soul Society. Urahara noticed his pacing.

"_Calm down, Hitsugaya-taichou. Pacing isn't going to get you there faster, you know." _

Hitsugaya stopped pacing and began fidgeting. The newly un-exiled ex-captain looked up from where he was building the Garganta.

"_I can't concentrate if you fidget. Stop it." _

'_Patience_,' Hyourinmaru counseled from the back of Hitsugaya's mind.

'_I don't know why I'm nervous, Hyourinmaru,'_ he thought back. '_And that frightens me._'

'_Ignore your fear,'_ the dragon counseled._ 'We have no need of it.'_

"_Dooone_!" Urahara chirped, and Hitsugaya breathed a sigh of relief. "_Wasn't that fast, Toshiro-chan?_" Hitsugaya twitched at the nickname, annoyed once more. In the back of his mind, he heard Hyourinmaru's rumbling laughter.

'_Damn dragons.' _

"_Don't call me Toshiro,"_ he shot back, then stalked off to go sulk somewhere.

"_Are you comiiing_?" Urahara chirped. With a soft string of vehement curses, Hitsugaya turned tail and shunpo-ed back to the Garganta, barely falling through in time as the gate closed mere millimeters after him.

"_That was close,"_ Urahara drawled as Hitsugaya pulled himself off the floor. _"Come on, now. We need to get to Hueco Mundo." _

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In Las Noches...

Nell's 'cero double' hit a certain privarion Espada with an unpronounceable name and a zanpakuto named 'Hiralda'.

Ishida picked up Seele Schneider's hilt from where it had been shot through the now-dead Arrancar Cirucci.

Nnoitra whacked Sado with his oversized zanpakuto, then began bragging about the supremacy of Espada, especially himself.

Rukia met up with a certain Espada Novendo, Aaroniero Alulueri, who promply walked in to the shade and transformed into Shiba Kaien.

And Renji got turned upside down and smashed headfirst into the floor of a random Las Noches corridor by a rather lost, despondent, freaked out, and overexcited Dondochakka.

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Hitsugaya and Urahara paused as they surveyed a hole in the wall.

"_They entered through here,_" Urahara said, pointing. Hitsugaya barely refrained from saying something unmistakably rude and walked through the improvised entrance.

And he kept walking, and walking, and walking.

"_This is a really thick wall,"_ he grumbled to no one in particular. An odd, lizardlike Hollow scuttled by and he sent it on to Soul Society.

"_Can you follow Kuchiki Rukia's reiatsu?"_ Urahara asked. _"I'll go after Sado."_

"_Why-?_" But Urahara was already gone.

Hitsugaya grumbled as he entered a hallway.

**What follows next is a LOT of walking through unnamed, monotonous corridors that even Kubo Tite does not put in. Therefore, we will skip to something interesting. **

When Hitsugaya finally reached the room Rukia was in, he was fairly surprised to find her battling someone who looked like Kaien- on top of an octopus monster.

"_What the hell?" _

"_Oh, another one,"_ the odd monster-thing said. "Yo soy el noveno Arrancar, Aaroniero Alulueri," it said.

"_Soten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!" _(AN: I've seen so many different translations of his shikai command I won't even bother translating it.)

"_Next dance: Hakuren!" _

Aaroniero Alulueri found himself covered in ice as an Asian dragon/wyvern crossbreed ripped right through him.

Hitsugaya watched the remains of the Espada fall. "_Please explain why the Arrancar resembled Shiba-san_," he said politely.

"_Well… Kaien-dono was eaten by the Hollow, which rematerialized in Hueco Mundo after I defeated it… and was eaten by Aaroniero Alulueri_," Rukia said, wiping blood from a cut on her cheek.

"_I see_," Hitsugaya replied. "_Let's go._"

"_Hai_," Rukia said as they ran back through the corridors.

Elsewhere, most Espada were comprehending the backup and death of one of their own.

"Troublesome," Stark grumbled as he went back to sleep. "Go away, Lillinette."

"…" Ulquiorra said nothing, just continued on to where he felt an invader's reiatsu.

Ichigo ran off, leaving a defeated Arrancar with an unwriteable name behind.

"_What are you doing here in Hueco Mundo, Rukia?"_ Hitsugaya asked.

"_We're here to rescue Orihime-chan!" _Rukia replied.

"_And you couldn't have waited for Soul Society to dispatch others as well? Do you realize that if you get yourself killed, your brother is going to be very, very upset?" _

The dumbstruck look on Rukia's face told him everything he needed to know.

"_I don't think he meant for you and whoever else-" _

"_Renji_," she supplied helpfully.

"_-for you and Renji to come here so early. Besides, can't you feel the Arrancars' reiatsu? Although-!" _

"_Ichigo!" _

"_His reiatsu vanished! Come on!" _

The two of them raced down a different corridor. A few seconds after they had left, a troop of skull-faced Arrancar went to check out the commotion.

"Aaroniero Alulueri, the last of the original Espada, is dead," their leader pronounced, surveying the damage.

"He couldn't even do the job properly, judging from the mess," a dark-skinned Espada said, walking out from nowhere. "I will search for his opponent. Clean up this mess."

He left as the Exequias got to work.

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Harry and co. looked at the newcomers suspiciously. After all, the sexy one had just said that she was _SNAPE_'s assistant. Snape, of all people! Harry had a hard time imagining how Snape had accepted a crazy lady like her as his assistant in the first place. Of course, he didn't realize that Snape had had no say in the matter.

Meanwhile, Matsumoto went exploring the castle, gikongan in hand. She particularly wanted to see the ancient Hollow her captain had found, but wasn't sure where it was anymore. Therefore, she simply decided to wander around aimlessly.

Harmless, right?

Not when you're Matsumoto Rangiku, or Rangiku Matsumoto in English.

Waltzing down a hallway on the seventh floor, she managed to knock over a suit of armor into a rather large picture, irreparably destroying both objects, and somehow did not hear the loud crashes, screeches, or bangs that had ensued. Nor did she notice the enormous explosion resulting from the release of so much magic.

Still humming, she reached a staircase. By the time she had left, there was more than one false step waiting to ensnare the unwary-or unwitting-walker.

Thus, when Neville Longbottom managed to spring all the loose steps on his way down the staircase and past Matsumoto, no one thought to blame her.

Of course, they had a harder time explaining the mysterious way the kitchen kept vanishing now, mostly due to the fact that Matsumoto didn't feel like letting anyone take her away from her sake.

Nonetheless, she was fully present for Snape's fifth period class, which just so happened to be the Golden Trio and Malfoy's class.

"Five points from Gryffindor for immature behavior," Snape said after Ron had thrown a slug's bulbourethral gland at his least favorite person in the world.

"Fifty points from Slytherin for provoking him," Matsumoto said. Hinamori, who was attempting to make her own potion, sighed.

"_Don't be rude, Matsumoto-san! You should at least take off the same number of points!" _

"Forty points from Gryffindor for speaking a foreign language," Snape snarled.

"Not anymore," Matsumoto replied as Hinamori added something… diced… into her cauldron, blushing a bright red from embarrassment. "Hey, Snape, I suggest you don't insult her or you'll have tai- Shiro-chan on your tail when he comes back."

"Don't tell me what to do," Snape grumbled.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Matsumoto shrugged. "The room bears witness."

Snape grumbled and went to take points from Potter instead. His new assistant was crazy. And to prove his point, she began humming aimlessly, muttering gibberish under her breath, and pulling out a stick of… something.

Matsumoto poked Malfoy's cauldron. "_Bakudo 31: Shakkahou_!" she muttered.

His cauldron blew up in his face, although Matsumoto was somehow already across the room and safe.

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AN: FROM NOW ON 2stupid WILL NOT DO THE JAPANESE ITALICS THINGIE IF THE CHARACTERS ARE IN SOUL SOCIETY OR HUECO MUNDO.

Somewhere else, Zaraki-taichou, Kuchiki-taichou, Unohana-taichou, and Kurotsuchi-taichou stepped through a Garganta and split up. Nemu, Isane, and Yachiru followed in their Captains' wake.

Soi Fon wiped a bit of sweat off before going back to work. The Garganta was definitely more taxing to open than the Senkaimon.

An odd reiatsu flare unfelt for over a quarter-century caught her attention.

"Shiba-fukutaichou?"

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Meanwhile, Hitsugaya cursed his ill luck. He and Rukia dodged another pair of Arrancar as they searched for an elusive Kurosaki Ichigo.

Who was currently being revived by Orihime. Grimmjow had already sealed Ulquiorra away for the next few hours. Halibel and her fraccion moved in, stopped at a safe distance, and decided to watch the fireworks.

"What's going on?" Zemari le Roux asked, walking by. "Are those the invaders fighting with Nnoitra? I assume Grimmjow was already defeated."

"The invader Kurosaki Ichigo has been defeated by Nnoitra, who is now fighting the missing Espada Neliel tu Oderschvank."

"She has returned?"

"Apparently. The circumstances have changed, but-" Halibel turned and fired off a Cero.

"Kuso. Move it, Kuchiki!"

"EEEH?!"

"What are you doing to my sister, Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"Trying to get her away from the Espada. Kuchiki-taichou."

"So you two are Captains of the Gotei 13?" Zemari interrupted politely.

"Wasn't that obvious?" Hitsugaya retorted.

"Then I will fight you," Zemari replied.

"No."

"No?" everyone else repeated, staring at Byakuya.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, please take Rukia elsewhere, away from the fighting."

"EEEHH? Nii-san-!"

"Now, Hitsugaya-taichou." Hitsugaya sensed that it would be futile to argue, grabbed Rukia, and shunpo-ed off.

"Take me back!" Rukia screamed. "Nii-sama!"

"Shut up and help me search for Kurosaki!"

"Ichigo! Orihime!"

"Where?" Hitsugaya's query proved redundant as he soon found the errant pair. Orihime was taking the chance to heal Ichigo as Kenpachi and Nnoitra fought. He looked the other way; Byakuya and the Espada Zemari had already taken the chance to vanish elsewhere, but he could still feel their reiatsu. Unohana was currently engaged in healing someone; he could feel an unfamiliar reiatsu bloom back to life. Kenpachi was probably either searching or having a chat with whoever was the head scientist in Las Noches; his reiatsu was low, indicating that he most likely felt slightly amused and utterly calm.

"I'm almost done," Orihime broke into his thoughts.

"Yes, please finish," he murmured back. He couldn't help wondering who he'd forgotten, and for a split second, he wondered where Aizen was.

Still, he couldn't help feeling just a tiny bit redundant as he watched the battles around him unfold.

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Harry was suspicious. However, Ron and Hermione were not. The Golden Trio had a new friend; Hinamori Momo.

"Hey, Momo?" Hermione asked. "What's Shiro like?"

"He's cute," the girl smiled. "He's really strong, and he's a bit overprotective sometimes, but he's my friend, kind of like my _nakama_."

"_Nakama_?" Hermione asked.

"Your really good friends, the ones closer than family," Hinamori explained. "We've been together for a very long time."

Once again, Harry was struck by subtle discrepancies in the girl's conversation. "You mean like forever, Momo?" he interjected.

"I hope so," Hinamori said. "Forever's a long time, isn't it? And I wish Ai-" she fell silent. Across the table, Matsumoto tensed slightly. The Golden Trio noticed the odd response.

"Ai? Isn't that Japanese for 'love'? So do you love him?" Hermione intervened quickly.

Hinamori blushed and squeaked, Matsumoto giggled, and Hermione gasped.

"You're drinking!"

"Yeah, so what? I'm of age." Matsumoto took a sip from a rather large bottle that was already mostly empty. "It's almost empty, anyways."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged significant looks. This was… slightly disturbing. What could cause a vibrant, optimistic woman like Matsumoto to get drunk? And who was this "Ai-" person?

Their musings were rudely cut off when a black butterfly barreled into the drinking woman. Matsumoto choked on her sake as the Hell Moth went into reverse and began fluttering disapprovingly around her.

"_What is it this time_?" she grumbled as she stashed away her sake bottle before allowing the construct to land on her finger; Hell Moths were notoriously hostile towards alcohol, especially after one of their own had somehow fallen into a bottle of wine, gotten drunk, and flown straight into a flame.

This particular Hell Moth remained silent.

"_What_?" Matsumoto grumbled. "_If you don't have a message, then go away_."

The moth simply head butted her and trying to pull her somewhere. With a grumble for her lost drinking time, Matsumoto followed.

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"Where are you taking me?" Orhime asked as Hitsugaya dragged her down a random hallway.

"With luck, the Garganta will still be open. I'm taking you back."

"What about me?" Rukia demanded.

"Guard-!"

"!"

"Hola, chicos. Yo soy el Arrancar setenta y tres, Corre de Muerte. It's nice to see you again, Hitsugaya Toushiro." (1)

"…Shit."

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"Hola, Rangiku-chan," her current least favorite person in the world said. Matsumoto could have sworn that his annoying smile had gotten bigger.

"_If it's really you, please go away. I was drinking." _

"_Awww, that ain't a nice thing to say to an estranged friend. I really missed ya, ya know." _

"_You were the one who left, baka. If you'd wanted to stay, you could have." _

"_You could have come with me, Rangiku." _

"_No, Gin. You know I couldn't."_ Matsumoto moved away slightly. "_Life in Hueco Mundo, in Las Noches, wouldn't suit me._"

"What are they saying?" Harry whispered.

"I don't speak Japanese," Hermione whispered back. "At least not well enough. Besides, I don't think they'd want us to overhear them."

"I don't think they're supposed to be meeting in the first place," Ron said. Conversation in the next room abruptly stopped.

"_Ara, Rangiku-chan, who're these eavesdroppers?" _Harry looked up to see the oddest-looking man in his life, noting the neatly cropped silver hair, the hooded eyes, the black uniform, the 'knife', and the odd, overly cheerful grin.

"_They're just students," _Matsumoto grumbled. "Go away and don't mention it or I'll erase your memories."

"You wouldn't dare," Hermione whispered.

"She could. An' she could replace them with new memories so ya don't notice the discrepancy," the man said.

Hermione made mouthing motions in shock.

"Hey, don't act like that; ya look like a grounded fish."

Hermione closed her mouth, blushing heavily.

"Waaah, Gin!"

"_Ara, it's Momo-chan!" _

"_Hey, don't call me by my first name!" _

"Yeah, yeah. I just came by 'cause I was bored. Don't tell anyone, 'kay? Ja!" With that, Gin waved and hopped out.

"Did he just jump-" Hermione began.

"Out the seventh-floor window?" Ron finished. As one, the three rushed to the window, but the mysterious man was gone.

When they turned back, Hinamori and Matsumoto had already shunpo-ed away.

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"Crap," Hitsugaya muttered, dodging the Arrancar's odd-looking weapon. "Who the hell uses an elastic blade nowadays?!"

"What, can't keep up anymore? I'll kill you for what you did!"

"Souten ni zase! Hyourinmaru!" (2)

"First dance! Tsukishiro!"

"Tsubaki! I reject!"

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Omake!

"Yo soy Arrancar setenta y tres.… What're you looking at me like that for?"

"KAAAAWAAIIIIIIIIIIII!"

…O.o''

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One thing: if you don't know Spanish, go find an online translation site. There are plenty of free ones.

But just in case you're too lazy, here's a minor list.

(1) Hello, kids. I am Arrancar 73. By the way, 'Corre de Muerte' means basically the same thing that 'Voldemort' does, only it's in Spanish, not Latin.

(2) Like I said, I've seen so many translations of Hitsugaya's shikai command I don't know which one to use. Some of them can be pretty diverse. (And the official English anime version SUCKS. And is REDUNDANT.)

Also, all spirits can understand each other, 'cause from what I can see, the Shinigami speak Japanese, the Arrancar/Hollows speak Spanish, and the three traitors are apparently bilingual.

And yet everyone can understand each other, even though they're supposed to be souls from all over the world, speaking God-knows-how-many dead languages.

Please review. After all, I updated, didn't I?


	8. Chapter 8

2stupid: Here is your next chapter.

Tensa-chan: Read and review. Please. OR SUFFER MY WRATH!

Amberosia: Now now, Tensa-chan, don't start attacking the nice readers. They are your readers, you know, and you probably don't want to scare them off.

Tensa-chan: O.o'' How did you get here?

2stupid: That doesn't matter.

Tensa-chan: Hey, Amberosia, did you know that 2stupid can reread the chapter that she just wrote and it'll be like she's reading someone else's story for the first time?

2stupid: looks poleaxed shocked speechless

Amberosia: Really?

Tensa-chan: Yeah!

2stupid: Sh-shut up! blushes

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Chapter 8

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"What was that all about?" a rather perplexed Hermione wondered. "For some reason, I think that conversation was very, very important."

"Well, I like my memories the way they are, so I'm not telling anyone," Ron said firmly.

"Are you sure? Dumbledore or Shiro might want to know," Harry demurred.

"Speaking of Shiro, he's been gone for a while now. Two weeks, I think? He just left with that sandal-hat guy," Hermione said.

"What if he was a-?"

"Eeew!"

"No, Shiro did not go off with a slave trafficker, pedophile, or anyone of that ilk," Dumbledore said.

"Professor! We didn't notice you," Hermione said humbly.

"You shouldn't apologize," Dumbledore said. "I'm afraid that I didn't want you to notice my arrival; sometimes it is better for someone to be unnoticed, although, Mr. Potter, I highly doubt that your rather distinctive profile allows you to do so."

Harry's hand automatically went up and touched his scar.

"Well, he can use a concealing potion, can't he?" Hermione demanded. "And if that doesn't work, he could at least use makeup."

"Hermione," Harry protested. "I don't want-!"

"Ooooohaaaayooou!"

"Gah! Miss Matsumoto! You're back!"

"Don't call me 'Miss'! It makes me feel old! And of course I'm back! I'm here, aren't I?"

"Isn't it the same thing as '-san'?" Hermione asked.

"Well, '-san' is for politeness!"

"So is 'Miss'!"

"But Japanese culture has a higher politeness standard than you guys do!"

"Oi, are you insulting us?!" Ron yelled.

"Shut up, flame head. I was talking with the girl here."

"That was definitely an insult there, Ron," Harry said. Ron went off to sulk.

"Shut up," Ron muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," Matsumoto said, apparently stretching and knocking down a sneaking Fred. Who was attempting to look down her shirt. "Oops. Standing there is dangerous, you know. You could get hurt."

'_The only ones who get hurt are the ones you hit,'_ the Golden Trio thought, sweatdropping.

"So, let's go off to eat!" Matsumoto skipped off, somehow managing to grab Harry's and Hermione's hands and dragging them off with her.

"Hey, let us go!" Hermione protested.

"This isn't the way to the Great Hall! Are they even serving food now?"

"No, this is the way to the kitchens! Come on!"

"…How on earth do you know the way to the kitchens?"

"…Do you really want to know?"

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Hitsugaya ran down an abandoned corridor while reiatsu spiked and flared all over Las Noches. He and the girls had separated after they had ascertained that the weird Arrancar was only after him.

"Ya know, Aizen's a bit unhappy," a familiar, hated voice drawled from behind. "Just a teensy bit unhappy."

"Don't you have a life?" Hitsugaya demanded, rather annoyed at the annoying tendency for the ex-captain to appear 'randomly' in just the wrong moments.

"Sssshhhinigami."

"Snake man."

Hitsugaya paused as the Arrancar turned a violent shade of puce. "Hadou 4: Byakurai!" The kidou hit the ceiling and dumped tons of masonry on the Arrancar; Hitsugaya shunpo-ed off; an insane wizard-turned-Arrancar was not what he wanted right now; he couldn't even destroy the thing due to some random regenerating ability.

"Come back here!"

"Shakkahou!"

"Here! Pena!" (1)

'_Wtf_?' Hitsugaya thought, baffled. '_His zanpakuto's name changed!_'

'_Not really_,' Hyourinmaru muttered in the back of his mind. '_It just went to Spanish._'

'_Is there that much of a difference?' _

'_Look out behind!' _

Hitsugaya turned- and saw what appeared to be a snake. Lots of them.

"Hyourinmaru," he grumbled. "His released form changed."

'_What do you expect? He's an Arrancar now. Now move it, and call me!' _

"Soten ni zase! Hyourinmaru!"

The dragon tangled with an elastic blade-turned-serpent. Roaring with both surprise and fury, Hyourinmaru withdrew.

"That Arrancar is seriously snake-obsessed," Hitsugaya muttered under his breath. "He looks a lot like that frickin' Greek monster."

'_Medusa_,' Hyourinmaru said. '_That's probably the shape of his zanpakuto's spirit_.'

"Assuming his zanpakuto has a spirit."

'_We may want to go bankai; he has undoubtedly gotten stronger.' _

"Well, so have we."

'_So why isn't he attacking?' _

"Maybe he's powering up or waiting for something?"

'_In which case, why the hell aren't you stopping him?' _

"Maybe he has a defense or is waiting for us to get in his range?"

'_Do you feel that type of reiatsu emanating from him?' _

"Hard to tell, but no?"

'_THEN ATTACK!' _

Hitsugaya sicced Hyourinmaru on the Arrancar's zanpakuto, then swung the bladed chain up to freeze the Arrancar.

Oddly enough, Corre still did nothing.

Hitsugaya was beginning to feel very, very worried. Even more so when the Arrancar suddenly made a Garganta and jumped through, ice, chain, and all, dragging along his Shinigami opponents.

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Matsumoto and Hinamori paused as they felt faint echoes of a Hollowlike reiatsu, followed by a Shinigami's.

"Someone's taking care of the problem," Matsumoto said. "Where's the armadillo bile?"

"Matsumoto! Stop stirring! It only says to stir six times!"

"That was number six. I think."

"Nooo! That was number eight!"

BOOOOOM!

"Who were the idiots who blew up my classroom?" Snape asked icily.

The two Shinigami looked innocent and pointed in a random direction.

"MALFOY! What have you to say for yourself?"

"I didn't do it! Sir!"

"Hunh?"

"I love a man with guts," Matsumoto confided.

"He's not getting out of this one, though," Hinamori replied softly.

"So let's clean up the evidence, first."

"Hai." Hinamori giggled as Snape launched into a full-on rant about just about everything. "Snape's airing out the dirty laundry now!"

"Yeah!"

"Shhh! I never know you could even do all that!"

"You can't-at least not all at once!"

"How do you know, Matsumoto-san?"

"I've tried it!"

"But wouldn't that be painful?"

"Only if you use a wand!"

"Matsumoto!"

"Shhh! I wanna hear this part!"

"Me too!" the rest of the class whispered. By this time, Malfoy was cringing jelly, Snape was puce, and neither of them were paying any attention to the rest of the class.

It was only when the bell signifying the end of class rang that everyone snuck out, wishing they could hear more.

Malfoy later got detention for missing the rest of his classes.

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Hitsugaya eyed the Medusa-mersnake carefully. After narrowly dodging several jets of something acid green, corrosive, and probably poisonous, he was fairly certain that he would love to never meet something like this again.

The fact that the spew came from the Arrancar's rear end was just something else of note.

Luckily, they were in an uninhabited part of the world, most likely near the pristine forests of Albania and Transylvania, and were able to continue the fight.

The pair of them were back to slapping around zanpakuto-creations when the spell hit.

At first a mere glow around Corre, the reddish light intensified, and soon the Arrancar was pulled through space elsewhere.

And that was all Hitsugaya got.

'_Track your own reiatsu_,' Hyourinmaru prompted. _'Your ice is still on him; therefore, you can find him.' _

'_I don't think that's necessary,'_ Hitsugaya muttered mentally. _'I don't particularly want to fight him anyways, and he's probably gone back to those Death Eater lackeys of his.' _

'_All the more reason we should find him before he does more harm.' _

'_Well, we're stuck in the middle of nowhere. Got a plan?' _

'_Nope.' _

It was during these times that Hitsugaya really wanted to smack himself in the head.

"_So I'm stranded in an unfriendly forest with no connection to Soul Society, the wizards, the vizard, Hueco Mundo, Las Noches-" _

'_Get to the point.' _

"_CRAAAAPPPPP!" _

"_Ne, Hitsugaya-taichou, don't be so frustrated,"_ an overly chipper voice muttered. Hitsugaya moaned; he was seriously getting a headache from the weirdness of his afterlife.

"_Go away, Urahara-san." _

"_Nah. I'm here to drag you back to school. You, Kuchiki-san, and Neliel-san." _

"_Neliel-san?" _

"_Former Espada. She's such a sweet kid." _

"_Is she the small, masked blonde one currently drooling on me?" _

"Yeth!"

"_Let's go then!"_ Urahara chirped, pulling out a strange machine.

Pop!

And they were back in the school.

"That was fast."

"Of course! I'm not a supergenius for nothing!"

"You used to say that you were a humble shopkeeper. What happened to that?"

"Oh, the depths of my genius were revealed." Hitsugaya sweatdropped.

"For some reason, I liked your old demeanor better."

"I can't imagine why."

"Nell ith hungry," a lisping female voice spoke up. "Where'th the food?"

"Urahara?" Hitsugaya said slowly. "How are we going to hide a masked female from the hundreds of residents in this school?"

"That's your problem!" Urahara chirped. "Bye!"

"_WHAT?!" _

But the mad scientist was already gone, leaving behind one murderous jyubantai-taichou, one infuriated noble-adoptee, and one baffled but hungry Shinigami-Hollow hybrid.

"Nell wanth to thee thith plathe!"

"Come back!"

"Wait!"

"Wahh! Pethe! Dondothakka!"

Somehow, waaaay back in Las Noches, the two Fraccion heard her.

"Nell-samaaaa!"

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Matsumoto slouched in one of the overstuffed armchairs next to the fire.

"Did you hear something?"

"Possibly," Hinamori replied. "It sounded a lot like Shiro-chan and Kuchiki-san."

"Maybe they're back!"

"Who's back?" Ron asked.

"We are," Hitsugaya grumbled. "And Kuchiki-san should be heading back."

"Waah! Shiro-chan! You scared me!"

"I thought I told you to call me- oh, never mind."

"Shiro-chan!" Hinamori giggled. Hitsugaya blushed.

"Hinamori!" he protested. She only laughed harder. "What?"

"N-nothing! Hahahahahaha!"

"Hinamori!"

"I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone, alright?" Matsumoto winked as she made shooing motions to the rest of the room.

"We weren't doing anything!" the pair protested.

"Ja ne!" Matsumoto escaped out the portrait hole.

"I really hate when she does that," Hitsugaya groused.

"Me too," Hinamori admitted.

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Ichigo wondered where Hitsugaya had gone. Especially since Nell and Rukia were supposed to remain with him. Orihime had come back, trailed by Unohana, Isane, and Byakuya. He could faintly feel Chad's reiatsu pulsing, along with one that reminded him of Kurotsuchi- oh, wait. That was Kurotsuchi, and he was fighting a reiatsu that held similar 'mad scientist' glee.

"Dammit," he swore, as Orihime healed him. Overhead, pieces of zanpakuto rained down like sharpened splinters. "WATCH OUT FOR US DOWN HERE, IDIOTS!"

Orihime promptly managed to go into a daydream about Ichigo protecting her.

"Waah! Leggo me! Inoue-san!"

"Sorry!" Orihime giggled nervously, scratching the back of her head. "I must have daydreamed again."

"Come on, let's get somewhere safer," Ichigo suggested, pulling her away. "Preferably, somewhere away from the fight-happy idiots."

"Okay!" Orihime agreed. "Hey, do you think I could reverse Nell's mask?"

Ichigo nearly froze, but a chunk of spiritual rock the size of a boulder crashed just behind them, reminding him to move it. "Can you?"

"I want to try," Orihime said stubbornly.

"Come on, then; let's go after her!"

And with that, two more intrepid explorers, followed by Pesshe and Dondochakka, ran back through the portal. Ishida, Renji, and Chad wondered who was next but were under Soul Society surveillance and couldn't get away.

Ichigo and Orihime went through the portal before Ichigo (finally!) realized that his nakama were still on the other side, left Orihime to a slightly bemused Urahara, and ran back through.

"_Geez, Kurosaki-kun needs to calm down_," Urahara chirped.

"_Nell_!" Orihime remembered suddenly.

"_You mean the former Espada? I'm afraid you'll have to wait to help her; she's currently running around amok some-eeeh?!" _

"_NELIEL-SAMA_!" Pesshe screamed, jumping through the Garganta and landing on Orihime.

"_NELIEL-SAMA_!" Dondochakka agreed, following through and landing on Urahara. In his hand, Benihime made an undignified squawking noise as the zanpakuto ended up- ahem. Somewhere unpleasant.

"_Benihime's going to be traumatized for life_," Urahara muttered, poking his now inert blade curiously.

"_I wonder if we should have told them they're going in the wrong direction_?" Orihime wondered.

"_Nah. Not for what they did to Benihime-chan. Besides, they'll find her- eventually." _Poke, poke.

"That's cruel!"

"As cruel as sitting on my poor Benihime?"

"But isn't Benihime just a zanpakuto?"

"_She's sentient, I'll have you know. Her delicate sensibilities were attacked by seeing that brute's posterior shoved rudely in her face."_ Urahara began to wipe down his zanpakuto's blade with exaggerated care. "_Wouldn't you be_?"

Orihime thought of the time she'd peeked on her brother in the shower and he'd accidentally tripped over the soap in surprise. "_No, not really_."

"_Then you're unlike the other ninety eight point two seven eight one eight percent of the population," _Urahara informed her.

"_98.27818? You actually calculated it?" _

"_Via extrapolation, random selection, validity, factor analysis, standardization, and the scientific method, yes. However, the figure becomes unaccurate beyond the millionths place because we have not figured heritability and environmental factors such as trisomy 21, Huntington's Disease, savant syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, the trauma of death on new arrivals in Soul Society, and a just plain unwillingness to answer the surveys correctly into the claim."_ Urahara blew on his blade gently. _"Don't die on me, Benihime! I need you!" _

Orihime wondered if the zanpakuto could even die that way and sweatdropped.

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As Harry and co. were sitting down to breakfast, they were greeted by rampant whispers about a pair of homicidal masked maniacs screaming some woman's name.

"-and the skinny one had this crazy sword thing! Like the one Shiro hides in his trunk!"

"Really?"

"Who would put a mace head on a sword hilt, though?"

"Shiro hides a sword in his trunk?"

"Fify points from Gryffindor for slandering your fellow students."

"EEK, Snape!"

"NELIEL-SAMA!"

"PETHE! DONDOTHAKKA!"

"NELL!"

"NELL-CHAN!"

"Wah! Orihime-dono!"

"Shut the hell up. And who was poking in my trunk?" A tired, grumpy Hitsugaya with bedhead had come down.

Dean looked guilty. "Erm, I thought it was my trunk, but it was an accident! Honest!"

"And then you told the public about Hyourinmaru."

"The sword has a na- No, wait! What sword! That's what I meant! What sword!"

"Shut the hell up. And don't insult Hyourinmaru like that."

"Yare, so much ruckus going on so early," Matsumoto yawned and stretched, appearing from nowhere. "I need my beauty sleep."

"_Fukutaicho, if you don't get properly dressed, I _will_ courtmarshal you!" _

"_Geez, so uptight, Shiro. What's the problem with what I'm wearing?" _

"_Other than the fact that your breasts are hanging out and every male within twenty feet is staring at your chest-mmmpfh!" _

"_See? If you block the view, no one's gonna look!" _

"_Stop squishing me!" _

"_Aww, it was just a hug!" _

"_And now everyone's glaring at me! Go up and get properly dressed, or I will force you to do it!" _

"_Aww, taichou's being mean. I'm going back to bed. With my favorite sake bottle. Bye!" _

"_Wait! Do your paperwork!" _

"_My horoscope says that I must avoid sharp, pointy objects today! Therefore, I must not touch a writing implement!" _

"_Use a dull pencil!" _

"_Those don't' write well!" _

"_Then-!" _

"Shiro! Class is starting!"

"Ja ne! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Damn," Hitsugaya muttered under his breath. With luck, he'd be pulling another overnighter trying to get both his homework (easy) and his paperwork (not so easy) done. Not to mention the mission reports (hard); he hated those.

He picked up his bag and went to class, promising himself to confiscate all of his fukutaicho's sake.

"Are you coming?" Ron yelled.

"Of course!" Hitsugaya ran to his first class, which was, ironically enough, History of Magic. He zoned out during the lecture and decided to finish off his mission report, which would be late in another sixteen hours, twenty-five minutes, and thirteen seconds.

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"_We have received a report from Hitsugaya-taichou,"_ some random Twelfth Division flunky. _"He has labeled it Class C, and has given instructions concurring with the First Division's regarding the Hueco Mundo mission. Now return to monitoring Kurotsuchi-taichou!" _

"_HAI!" _

"_#(&)(&#($&#()!" _

"_What?!" _

"_Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou has just died!" _

"_Keep recording! Kurotsuchi-taichou will know what to do!" _

"_HAI!" _

"_I trust everything's fine_?" a tired-sounding Ukitake asked quietly.

"_Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou just died, Ukitake-taichou!" _

"_Oh. Don't worry; Mayuri-san will know what to do_," Ukitake replied calmly.

(_"I told you so," _one slighted member whispered to another, promptly earning the other's enmity and starting of the Great Prank Wars of the Twelfth Division.)

"_Oi! Yamamoto-soutaichou's patching in a message from the First Division!" _

"_Show us!"_ Of course, these being Twelfh Division lackeys, this would be their only time to catch a glimpse of the honored and utterly revered soutaichou (who may be suffering from slightly impaired judgement, to say of his actions during the Kuchiki Rukia episode) for the rest of their (short) lives.

"_Ukitake-taichou,"_ Yamamoto's voice filtered in through a set of futuristic speakers, strangely mechanized. "_You are to rendezvous with Hitsugaya-taichou in the living world for his account of the events in Hueco Mundo. You are to repeat the process for each group exiting Aizen's fortress, Las Noches_."

"_Hai, Yamamoto-soutaichou." _

"_Twelfth Division, please prepare the Senkaimon." _

"_HAI!" _

And Ukitake Jyuushiro reentered the living world.

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(1) 'Here' is the third person singular conjugation of 'herir', which is Spanish for 'to injure'. 'Pena' means 'regret'. ('to regret' is arrepentirse, but that means that the person saying the word is doing the regretting, and Voldie-kun doesn't really regret much. But authoress-sama can change it if you want.)

Review, since if you're reading this blurb, you've probably already read the rest of the chapter!

Ja ne!


	9. Omake! Author's note! READ!

AN: Hello. It's me. After so long. Yes, I know.

THIS FIC IS UP FOR ADOPTION.

The Big Three you must have to adopt this fic:

1. Good grammar

2. A plot! And an ending. Please tell me where you want to take this fic.

3. The time to do this.

All other requirements are in my profile. They are appreciated but not necessary.

Send me a PM or a review if you want to adopt this fic. I will be screening possible adopters via stories they have already written and/or what they put in their profiles.

And because there isn't any real way I can post an author's note without a chapter any more, here's your little omake.

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Omake!

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Hitsugaya blinked.

"Why did it feel like I was just in hiatus?" he muttered before shaking his head and going on his way. "And why does it feel like there's no ending to this mission? Whatever."

And he went on his merry way. After all, the future's always in flux.

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Owari.


End file.
